


Bound To You

by costia_gray



Series: One Beating Heart [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Earth, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Earth-94, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fake Science, Family Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Married Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers, Parent Alex Danvers, Romantic Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:10:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19054969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/costia_gray/pseuds/costia_gray
Summary: After a crisis on Earth-1 takes Kara away from home, the breach Cisco opens to send her back drops her on the wrong Earth. Temporarily stranded on this alternate Earth, Kara quickly finds herself involved in a heck of a surprising situation with this Earth’s Alex.(Set between seasons 3 and 4.)Timeline: September 14th & 15th, 2018





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This is my first longer fic since I last wrote fic _years_ ago. It was not betaed or checked by anyone but me, so all mistakes are my own. (Feel free to point out anything glaring.)
> 
> Please make sure to read all the tags. While I don't think this fic deals too heavily in any of the tougher themes, it does dip into them quite a bit.
> 
> Can’t wait to hear what you guys think! :)

_**Friday, September 14th, 2018** _

Kara gasped, throwing out her arms to keep her balance as she, at the last minute, tripped through the breach back to her own Earth that Cisco had opened for her. Sometimes the role of clumsy Kara Danvers felt like less of a role and more like her unfortunate reality. Seriously, what kind of superhero tripped over their own feet?

_Just me, of course. The clumsiest superhero in the multiverse._

With a sigh, she smoothed down her ruffled button-up before taking a look around, expecting to find herself standing in the middle of her loft. She was always happy to help Barry and Oliver with an alien threat or two, but she was eager to be back home and take an all-around Supergirl break. These last guys had been tough; she’d been close to blowing out her powers and was hoping to be able to spend at least the next twelve hours recharging.

But, she realized with furrowed brows, this wasn’t her apartment. She was right in the middle of a living room, but it wasn’t hers or Alex’s or Lena’s or even Eliza’s in Midvale. She couldn’t recall ever seeing this place before and she felt a wave of panic wash over her. Had Cisco seriously just dumped her in a stranger’s house?! How was she supposed to explain herself to the owner?!

Just as she’d started to assess the situation, scanning for a window to fly out or even the nearest door to speed toward, a heartbeat she knew better than anything in the world filled her ears, and she felt calmer at once.

_Alex._

Sure enough, within seconds Alex’s familiar form had entered the room, freezing in place when her eyes landed on Kara. She looked different, Kara noted. Her hair was long again, straight and sleek, falling past her shoulders like back in college. She was a little curvier; her hips looked like they’d widened and her breasts… Kara mentally shook her head, stopping herself from going _there_ and turning her attention elsewhere.

Her face. That was a good thing to focus on. She was so, so beautiful; Kara had always thought so. But now, she looked pale and tired. Kara could see frown lines around her mouth that hadn’t been there before. Alex had definitely had her hard times, but Kara had always done everything she could to make her smile and laugh more often than she frowned. She could still see some of those little laugh lines, too, around her eyes, but nowhere near as prominent.

_This isn’t my Alex._

Of course this wasn’t her Alex. She’d only been gone a day, and no human being could change this quickly in one day. Somehow, Cisco and his _totally precise_ vibing must have sent her to the wrong Earth. But this was still _Alex_ standing in front of her, and Kara could never bring herself to just leave without explaining herself.

It was when she saw Alex was _crying_ that she snapped back to herself. She jumped right into comfort mode, striding toward her sister quickly — only to see Alex stepping backward just as quickly. Kara instantly froze in place; she had never seen her react that way to _anyone_ , never mind to Kara herself. Did this Alex not know her? Maybe she hadn’t ended up with the Danvers family here. Maybe she was just some stranger invading Alex’s home and scaring the hell out of her.

“N-no,” Alex stammered out, holding her hands out in front of her, blocking Kara from coming any closer. Tears were streaming down her face. Kara could hear her heart racing and see how hard she was trying to keep her composure. “You can’t— Y-you can’t be here. You… _shouldn’t_ be here.”

Kara’s face fell. Alex knew her. She just didn’t… want her here? That was a new one. Alex _never_ turned her away. Had this Earth’s Kara hurt her somehow? Had they had a falling out? Kara couldn’t fathom it. If this Kara had an Alex, she would never intentionally hurt her, not in her right mind. She wouldn’t be able to bear the thought.

“Alex…” Kara said softly. “Please, I… I hate it when you cry. Please, let me…”

“You can’t be here,” Alex cut in sharply, her expression turning angry. “You’re _dead_.”

Alex’s words hit her with the force of a Kryptonite bullet. Kara actually physically recoiled, reaching out to grab the back of the couch and steady herself.

“Oh,” she breathed. Kara rarely actually felt weak, but right now, she felt like the world had fallen out from beneath her feet. If she hadn’t been holding herself up, it felt like a very real possibility that her knees might actually give out.

She’d had quite a few near-death experiences since coming out as Supergirl. The closest she’d ever come to actually dying were the times she was exposed to Kryptonite, but every time, she’d recovered. Every time, her friends and family found a way to bring her back. And in the back of her mind, she’d always expected to live a very long life. Kryptonians did well under Sol’s rays. Kal hadn’t aged a day in over a decade; there was a very real possibility that Kara would live a long life, well past those closest to her. Alex was far more likely to die of old age in her arms (because Kara absolutely _would not allow_ her dying any other way) than Kara was to die young.

But here, something had happened. Here, she had died and left Alex alone, left her broken and hurting. She and Alex had been one another’s everything for such a long time. She knew how absolutely torn to pieces she’d be if she lost her sister right now. She had to imagine that was how Alex was feeling now.

“Rao, Alex, I— I’m sorry,” she said softly, lifting her eyes to Alex’s. The older woman was still crying, and Kara wanted nothing more than to go to her and apologize over and over again. She had no idea what had happened or how long this Kara had been gone. But now she knew why her sister kept looking at her as if she was barely holding herself together. She knew she’d look exactly the same way if she _ever_ lost Alex.

Alex took a deep, shaky breath, clearly trying to calm herself. She raised her hands to wipe her face clean of tears, then folded her arms over her chest and leveled her gaze on Kara. Kara forced herself to stand up again, meeting her sister’s eyes timidly and keeping her mouth determinedly shut. Her mind was filled with a million questions to ask, but she wouldn’t dare. Not when Alex was reacting so badly to her presence.

“Where are you from?” Alex asked quietly.

“Oh. Uh, Earth-38,” Kara answered, a little surprised by Alex’s change in attitude. “I was coming from Earth-1. I guess… Cisco must have dropped me on the wrong Earth.” She hesitated a moment before asking, “What Earth is this?”

“Earth-94,” Alex replied with a sigh. She took a tentative step closer, brown eyes raising to meet Kara’s gaze. “Hey, I… I’m really sorry for snapping at you. I just lost _her_ six months ago, and… when I saw you, I freaked out.”

Kara nodded. She couldn’t deny it had hurt to have Alex snap at her that way, but given the circumstances, she understood. Alex was rarely one to immediately break down sobbing — when she was hurting and upset, she got angry first and she lashed out. It stung a bit, but she didn’t mind Alex lashing out at her. She was grieving and needed that outlet, and her Alex was always worried about everyone else’s feelings above her own. She was probably refusing to talk about this with anyone else.

“I get it.” She gave Alex a small, gentle smile, yearning more than anything to reach out and touch her. “I’m so sorry, Alex. I don’t know how this happened. I’m sorry my being here is hurting you. I can go,” she offered.

“No,” Alex said quickly. Kara raised her eyebrows. “No, it’s okay. I mean, Marley will probably be up from her nap in… like, an hour, and then… yeah. You’ll have to go. But…”

“Marley?” Kara interjected curiously. Upon Alex’s nod, she let herself listen. And sure enough, there it was: a third heartbeat in the house, slow and steady and small a floor above them.

“Oh, Alex,” she breathed, blinking away the tears that filled her eyes. Alex had a baby. _A baby._ And her Kara wasn’t here to celebrate with her, to _help_ her.

When Alex’s face crumbled and she began to cry, she didn’t turn away from Kara’s offer of comfort this time. Kara wrapped both arms around her tightly, stroking the back of her head and holding her close, pressing a soft kiss against her cheek. Alex was sobbing into her shoulder, laying heavily in Kara’s arms. Kara patiently let her cry, glad she was able to hold her at last. She shifted her grip, lifted Alex into a bridal hold and carried her around the couch to sit down. She pulled the older woman into her lap, careful not to jostle her too much, but she hardly seemed to notice.

It took a few minutes before Alex started to calm, her sobs fading to sniffles and falling tears.

“God, I’ve _really_ missed you,” she whimpered. Her breaths were still uneven, her fingers wrapping around the collar of Kara’s shirt as she tried so hard to keep herself in control.

“I’m here.” Kara pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s forehead, nuzzling her nose against her sister’s wet cheek. “I know I’m not her. I know it’s not the same, but I’m here now, Alex. Please let me make it better.”

Alex looked up at her, and Kara carefully wiped her sister’s face clean of tears. Her eyes were swollen and red-rimmed, her mouth still quivering at the corners. But she reached up, cupping Kara’s face in her hands, and Kara let her guide their foreheads to rest together. She had always loved sharing this sort of intimacy with Alex; it always left her feeling so warm and loved and protected.

It took another moment of Alex leaning steadily closer for it to dawn on Kara that this Alex was looking for more from her. Her heart began pounding in her ears and she couldn’t help but freeze when Alex’s lips pressed against hers, hesitant and searching. She started to pull back when Kara didn’t respond, but before they were fully separated, Kara’s hand pressed against Alex’s neck and she leaned forward, letting their lips fully connect.

It was a slow, tender kiss, fizzling with energy. Kara had kissed quite a few people in her life, some more successfully than others. But even those she’d been sure she loved — James, Mon-El, even Lena — had never made her feel anything like this. It felt like electricity was crackling between their lips every time she and Alex kissed. She felt full to bursting with desire, heat bubbling beneath her skin and aching to escape.

_Here it is. This is what I’ve been missing._

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way, too lost in the connection to keep track, but eventually, Alex broke away, breathless and smiling. Kara nuzzled the older woman’s nose, briefly capturing her lips again and humming at the spark the contact caused. Alex chuckled, sliding her hands into Kara’s hair.

“You’ve never done that before,” she said softly, her head tilted just a bit to the side like she already _knew_.

Kara blushed, trying to duck her head, but Alex held her still. “No,” she admitted softly. “Not with… Not with you.”

“She hasn’t told you?”

“No?” Kara replied uncertainly, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “What should she have told me?”

Alex smiled sadly, moving her hand to brush a thumb across The Crinkle between Kara’s brows. “She’s been in love with you since the moment you landed on her front lawn, but she's afraid you only see her as a sister and… she doesn’t want to mess you up.” Her thumb skimmed down Kara’s nose, and Kara could hear her heart rate picking up. “But she wants a future with you. _Only_ you, _always_ you. Even if she can’t admit it yet.”

Kara swallowed hard. She’d never even dared to imagine that Alex could feel that way about her. It was a dream, a silly fantasy she’d clung to in her teenage years before she’d settled into her assigned role: sister. She’d tried so hard to keep from thinking of Alex that way because she knew it was _impossible_ Alex would ever think of _her_ that way.

“Is that what we… what you had with your Kara?”

Alex nodded, pulling her left hand back and holding it up so Kara could see the glimmering bracelet clasped around her left wrist. The color was beautiful, this deep mixture of blue and red that wasn’t _quite_ purple, unique in color as every set of Kryptonian bonding bracelets was meant to be. She couldn’t believe she’d missed it the first time around, but she’d been busy taking in every other little difference in Alex’s appearance.

“You’re her bondmate,” she breathed, awed. It was no wonder Alex looked so worn down, so unlike herself. Losing a bondmate was like losing half of your soul. Alex’s Kara had taken more of Alex with her than she’d left behind.

“Yeah.” Alex’s bottom lip trembled and she took another slow breath, drawing her teeth over it until the shaking passed. “We got married a few months after she decided to do the whole Supergirl thing. After the Black Mercy. She said her life would only ever be _truly_ perfect if I agreed to be her wife.”

Kara felt her face heat up; this Kara sounded way smoother than she could ever dream of being. She was sure to become a stammering, nervous mess before the first word of a declaration like that got out of her mouth. But it was undeniably romantic, and the fond smile seemed to suggest it was a good memory for Alex.

She looked up when Alex stroked down her cheek, then grabbed her chin and tilted her head up so she could lock their lips together again. Kara’s eyes fluttered closed and she let herself relax. She let Alex take complete control and push this where she wanted it to go.

Maybe it was selfish to behave this way. But she couldn’t help reveling in the feeling of Alex kissing her and touching her in ways she used to dream of as a teenager. They weren’t of the same world and their experiences had branched off in completely different directions. Alex was so clearly grieving her dead wife, but she was still _Alex_. Kara would do anything for Alex — any Alex — and this one needed her right now. Kara could do nothing but give into her.

Kara couldn’t say she really registered what was happening until she was flat on her back on the couch and Alex was on top of her. Her hands were tangled in Alex’s long brown hair — _Rao_ , she hadn’t realized how much she missed Alex’s long hair until she was clutching it at this moment — and warm, firm hands were sliding along her torso, pressing hard against solid muscle like she was trying to convince herself Kara was real.

Kara gently broke the kiss when she felt tears she knew weren’t her own falling against her cheeks. Alex’s hands dug into her stomach while Kara patiently kissed the wet streaks from her face.

“I miss you so much,” Alex whimpered, her voice shaking with emotion. Kara could feel her chest heaving again and knew she was trying her best to keep from crying. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m _so_ sorry.”

Kara nodded, staying firmly in the comfort zone right now because that was what Alex needed. It didn’t matter how curious she was; this wasn’t _about_ her. Her mind could scream at her to _find out what happened_ a million times and she would still steadfastly ignore it. She already knew her other self hadn’t died a natural death and that was all the information she needed. The last thing she wanted was to upset Alex any further by prying into the death of her wife. Just Kara’s very presence here was causing the older woman so much pain.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay. I love you, Alex,” Kara murmured. She nuzzled Alex’s nose with her own, hushing her soothingly. “I love you so much.”

Alex captured her lips again, and Kara indulged her (indulged them both, really) in slow, wet kisses. She was loving this, aching for that spark in her mouth with every kiss and was never disappointed. Alex’s hand slipped beneath her shirt, fingertips tracing across her abs, staying politely below her bra. It was odd that this woman she’d thought of as a sister for so long was touching her in such a way, but she found she was craving it, eager for more and wondering how far Alex would push.

Her bottom lip was between Alex’s teeth when a shrill cry broke the bliss of their trance, both suddenly remembering they weren’t alone. Alex had a baby. A baby that needed her mother. A baby that Kara now suspected was part Kryptonian. She couldn’t imagine this Alex wanting a baby with anyone but her Kara.

_Poor Alex._

Alex scrambled off her, and if she was less alien, Kara was sure the knees and hands that smashed into her in Alex’s hurry would have left her bruised and probably doubled over in pain. As it was, she sat up, her face red as she tried to straighten her clothes while Alex sprinted up the stairs.

Silence fell pretty quickly. Kara sat awkwardly on the couch, clutching her own knees to have something to do with her hands. She tried not to listen, wanting to respect Alex’s privacy. But remembering what Alex had said — that when the baby woke up, she’d have to go — she decided she should say a quick goodbye and leave her to her life. Once she found somewhere quiet, she’d see if she could find a way to get in touch with Barry and get back to her own Earth and her own Alex. Maybe this Earth’s Lena would be able to help her.

She followed the sound of Alex’s familiar heartbeat up the stairs and down the hall to the doorway of a spacious nursery. Before she could say a word, her heart constricted in her chest.

_Oh my Rao, the walls._

Unthinking, Kara stepped into the room, drawn to the beautifully painted walls. She would recognize the scene anywhere: the view of Krypton’s landscape from her bedroom window back in Argo. She had painted this same view hundreds of times in the past fifteen years. She had canvas upon canvas stored in her apartment, Alex’s apartment, even in Eliza’s attic in Midvale. She’d never stopped painting it because she never, ever wanted to forget what it had been like.

Now, of course, she had the option of returning to Argo City if she wanted to. But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t her planet anymore. It was a chunk of the home she’d once known. Earth was her home now. Her Alex was her home.

“She painted that herself.”

Alex’s voice snapped Kara out of her reverie, and her head turned toward the older woman automatically. She was sitting in a rocking chair only feet away from where Kara had wandered in and stood staring in wonder at the nursery walls. She didn’t look angry; she looked amused insomuch as she could with the barely-masked pain in her eyes. She was cradling her daughter securely in her arms, nursing her. Even with Kara’s eyes on her, her posture didn’t expose a hint of discomfort.

If it wasn’t _the_ most beautiful sight Kara had ever seen, it was definitely up near the very top of the list.

“She worked on it every evening after work for _weeks_ ,” Alex continued. “She’d lock the door every night when she stopped and tell me she’d know if I ever tried to get in and to mind my own business because it was a surprise. She caught me trying to pick the lock twice before I realized she was listening for when my heart rate jumped. I gave up after that.”

Kara smiled, laughing a bit. _That_ absolutely sounded like something she would do. It was totally sneakily brilliant; she might have to use that trick on her own nosy Alex someday.

“I cried when she finally showed me. She said she’d wanted to be sure our baby grew up knowing about Krypton and her heritage. She was so excited to teach her someday. She was _so_ excited to be a mama.”

Kara stepped closer to Alex and Marley, crouching down and brushing her hand gently across the tiny head of brown hair. She worried for a second Alex might get angry and say something, but she just watched, still rubbing Marley’s back with one hand while nursing. But Kara could see Alex was trying to keep herself together — tears were filling those brown eyes again, and Kara felt helpless to stop them. She wanted so badly to help, to fix her other self’s little family, but she knew she couldn’t. Not really. She couldn’t bring Alex’s Kara back and she couldn’t _be_ that Kara either, no matter how much they pretended.

“I’m sor—”

“Don’t,” Alex interjected softly. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your world.”

Kara nodded, stroking the soft baby curls still beneath her fingers. She knew Alex was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. It didn’t make her feel any less responsible or make her want to comfort Alex in whatever way she could any less. But she supposed Alex was right — there was no sense apologizing for something out of her control.

“How old is she?” she asked.

“Eight months last week.” Alex’s smile was a little less sad when she answered. She obviously really loved her daughter, even though she was being forced to raise her as a single mom instead of with her partner. And it was nice to know this Earth’s Kara had at least had a couple of months with the family she’d wanted before she was gone.

“She’s perfect, Alex.”

Alex nodded her agreement, gently extracting her daughter from her breast and straightening out her shirt. The little one fussed in her arms and Alex shushed her tenderly before looking up at Kara.

“Do you… You can hold her if you want. You’ll have to—”

“Yes,” Kara answered firmly. She didn’t care if she’d have to burp the baby. She loved babies, and Marley was her family, in an unusual kind of way. Even if she wasn’t truly her mother, she was still silently hoping she would feel a little bit of that connection. She’d always wanted to be a mom.

Alex smiled softly, placing Marley in Kara’s arms and making sure she had a firm but gentle hold on her. Kara wasn’t very accustomed to holding babies, as much as she loved cooing at them, but she was used to adjusting her strength. She mentally counted backward (a technique she and Alex had worked out a long time ago to help her concentrate on pulling back) until she felt confident she was holding Marley just firmly enough; Alex seemed pleased, too, which helped boost her confidence. Kara straightened up, gazing down at the tiny creature in her arms with awe and adoration in her eyes.

“Oh, Rao,” she whispered when sweet blue eyes identical to her own gazed right back up at her discerningly. “She has… Her eyes look like…” _My eyes._

“Yeah.” Alex stood up beside Kara, pressing her head against Kara’s and looking down at her daughter as well. “Hamilton and I found a way to fertilize my egg with her DNA. So, little Marley Alura Danvers here really is half-Kryptonian. No sign of powers yet, thank God.”

Kara felt tears well up in her eyes. Their baby had her mother’s name. Even knowing now that she was alive and well on Argo, she loved that her alternate self and Alex had chosen to honor her mother when they named their daughter. Alura had made a lot of mistakes, but she was still Kara’s mom. She still loved her. And she had done everything she could to help them with Reign without question.

Kara felt Alex’s arms close around her waist and she melted against her, knowing just the right amount of weight Alex could hold comfortably. Warm lips brushed against her cheek, and she leaned into it, turning her head to catch a kiss on her lips. She could feel Alex smiling into the kiss, arms encircling her tighter, before deepening it just slightly.

She felt it then. That connection, that bond. Marley wasn’t really her child and Alex wasn’t her wife, but for a few minutes, she felt like this could be her life. She _wanted_ this to be her life. It felt so _good_ , Alex loving her this way, sharing a child that was part her and part her favorite person.

It wasn’t until Marley started squirming and fussing in her arms that Kara slowly pulled away from the kiss, smiling dazedly at Alex before her eyes moved down to the squalling baby girl.

She’d forgotten herself for a minute, lost herself in being able to kiss this Alex like she’d never kissed her own. She felt that tug every time Alex was near, that irresistible urge. It felt a little bit like how she’d always heard a drug addiction described.

“Oh, oh, oh! I’m sorry, little girl! You need to be burped, don’t you? Huh? I’ve gotcha.” She slid her pinky finger into Marley’s tiny fist. “I’ve gotcha, sweet girl.”

She felt the warmth of Alex’s body disappear from her side and when she returned, she slapped a cloth over Kara’s shoulder. Kara put Marley over her shoulder and began gently patting her back. Alex gave her an approving smile and she grinned back, burying her nose in Marley’s soft brown curls and inhaling that amazing baby scent.

After Marley had been burped, Kara switched to rubbing soothing circles across her back, and Alex waved her over to the rocking chair, pulling out the stool to sit in front of her. It didn’t take long for the steady rocking to lull the infant back to sleep, and Alex just watched without a word, her eyes soft with concern and affection and only a glimpse of sadness. Kara watched her, too, feeling more content than she had in a long time.

“Stay.”

Kara’s breath caught in her throat when Alex spoke, her heartbeat surging. “Alex—”

“Just tonight,” Alex clarified. She took a deep breath, reaching out to clasp her hands over Kara’s knees, brown eyes boring into blue. “I’m not expecting anything from you. I know…you’re not my wife. But…it’s been six months and I miss her _so much_ …” She paused for a moment, taking another measured breath. “I’m not expecting anything you aren’t willing to give, I promise. We can just curl up on the couch and have a sister night like we used to if that’s what you want. Just… please.”

Kara studied her quietly for several long moments. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to curl up with Alex and kiss her until her head spun. But she also knew she shouldn’t. Just being here, stepping into her alternate self’s shoes because Alex needed her, was already too intrusive. She was infringing on Alex’s ability to grieve her wife. A wife that Kara very much was _not_.

But maybe she kind of had to? Cisco has vibed to her when the crisis hit on Earth-1, and as a rule, she tried not to carry the interdimensional extrapolator he’d gifted her with her at all times. There was too big of a risk that it would be broken in the midst of a kerfuffle and then she’d completely lose contact with her friends on Team Flash. So, she _was_ currently trapped on this Earth.

“Yeah,” she agreed. Alex’s face lit up, and Kara’s smile brightened in response. “I’d really love that. But… do you think we can go into the D.E.O. tomorrow? I really should get back.”

Alex nodded, reaching out to gather her napping baby up in her arms, smoothly transporting her back into her crib. “I’ll call J’onn and make sure we can get in.”

Kara’s brows furrowed. “J’onn?” she questioned. “But aren’t you…”

Alex’s expression darkened and she shook her head, returning to offer Kara her hands. Kara rose with a grateful nod, and Alex ushered her out the door, leaving it cracked open a bit behind them.

“After what happened… I couldn’t justify putting myself on the line anymore. Marley only has me now. I didn’t want to risk leaving her an orphan, so Lena hired me. She lets me work flexible hours so I can still be at home with Marley most of the time, and she doubled my D.E.O. salary. She’d been offering since we first met, and… well, the timing was right.”

By the time she’d finished explaining, they’d made their way back downstairs. Alex brushed a kiss against Kara’s lips, sliding her hands across her shoulders. Kara’s hands settled on her hips while she leaned in to deepen the kiss further, sucking on Alex’s bottom lip, her stomach fluttering with butterflies and her mouth sparking with energy.

“Hey,” Alex spoke between fervent kisses. “Are you hungry?”

Kara hesitated, realizing she hadn’t considered the empty feeling in her stomach until just now. Her priorities had definitely shifted to fit this strange yet enticing, amazing, confusing situation. But now she was torn. Should she admit her hunger and let go of Alex so she could presumably cook? Or should she ignore her empty stomach in favor of kissing this beautiful woman she’d dreamed of kissing for years?

It was a tough call. Ultimately, it was a call her growling stomach answered before she could.

Alex laughed, stealing one last lingering kiss, and shoved her toward the couch. “Go. Sit. Pick something on Netflix and let me feed you. I still stock more than enough to feed a Kryptonian.”

“Come cuddle soon?” Kara pleaded, batting her eyelashes playfully and grinning when Alex rolled her eyes.

“Always.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has its moments but is overall quite a bit fluffier. Let me know what you guys think!

_**Saturday, September 15th, 2018** _

Kara woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Her brow crinkled as she blinked blearily around Alex’s guest room, searching out her elusive older sister. She knew she’d fallen asleep with Alex’s head on her chest. She knew she’d woken up twice in the middle of the night to find Alex up and pacing the floors, but she’d been kissed back to sleep both times. It seemed like Alex didn’t sleep much anymore; it would certainly explain the bags under her eyes.

Closing her eyes again, her super hearing picked up the sound of two hearts beating away steadily downstairs. Reassured that the other members of the household were both here and safe, she slowly stretched out her arms, then her legs, before sitting up and letting a yawn escape her. She rolled her shoulders, dragging one hand through her messy blonde hair as she floated out of bed and dropped to her feet, padding down the hall to the bathroom.

She took a quick shower and blow dried her hair, leaving it down in its natural curls. Her clothes from yesterday were mysteriously missing, so she dressed in a pair of Alex’s black basketball shorts and a hot pink tank top, forgoing her glasses for the time being. When she made her way downstairs, she could smell one of her absolute favorite breakfasts in the world cooking on the stove: chocolate chip pancakes. She smiled to herself, but before long, conflicted feelings settled inside her chest. She loved Alex for spoiling her, but she worried that pretending this way was only going to hurt her when Kara went back to her own Earth.

Of course, worrying about this now that she’d spent the better part of the night with her mouth attached to Alex’s and struggling to keep her hands in strictly appropriate places was probably pointless. She was just as responsible for the situation they were in as Alex was at this point. If she was hurt as a result, it would be just as much Kara’s fault, too.

Alex was facing the stove with a spatula in hand when Kara made it into the kitchen, patiently coaxing another pancake out of the pan. Her long brown hair seemed to have been hastily pulled up with a black claw clip, and she was still in the long white t-shirt and short red shorts she’d worn to bed the night before. On the counter to her right, there was a steadily growing stack of pancakes on a red platter, surrounded by a good serving of sausage links. Kara made sure she was making enough noise when she stepped to alert her sister to her presence before she leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek.

“Morning,” she murmured, grinning when Alex leaned into the touch of her lips. “You look so cute and domestic. All you’re missing is one of Eliza’s flowery aprons.”

Alex wrinkled her nose, making a face just at the thought, but there was a hint of a smile there, too, like she was used to this, even liked it. Kara wondered if this was the kind of teasing she’d endured from her Kara when they became a couple. She and her Alex had always affectionately ribbed each other, but the intimacy she’d shared with this Alex made their usual banter feel much, _much_ more flirty.

“Uh huh. Shut up or Marley and I will eat these all on our own.” She smirked at Kara and raised a challenging eyebrow, an action that sent heat rippling through Kara. Even though she’d found her own Alex breathtakingly attractive for years, she had never elicited exactly this kind of reaction from her. She could feel this Alex wanting her like her own never had, and it was affecting her so much more deeply than she’d expected.

“You wouldn’t dare,” she replied, widening her eyes and placing a hand over her heart in a show of false offense.

Alex shrugged nonchalantly, flipping another pancake on the pile before pouring some more batter into the pan. Kara chuckled and darted another kiss to her sister’s face, knowing the threat was empty. Alex had loaded her down with food last night and she saw no reason that would change now. She was even specifically making chocolate chip pancakes (Kara’s favorite), not strawberry (her own).

While Alex finished making breakfast, Kara padded over to Marley in her high chair. The little one gave her the cutest smile, squealing when she approached and shoving the two Froot Loops she’d managed to scoop up off her tray into her mouth along with most of her fist. Kara grinned and sat down at the kitchen table beside the baby.

“Hi, sweetie pie,” she cooed, smiling widely as Marley stared at her curiously, still sucking on her cereal. “You look so much like your mommy. And that’s the greatest possible compliment you could ever get, you know. Because Mommy is the smartest, kindest, strongest, most beautiful woman in every single universe. So you’re pretty lucky.” She reached out, tenderly brushing her hands over Marley’s head of brown curls. She heard Alex’s heart pick up speed, just for a few beats.

“Well, your auntie is quite the flatterer, isn’t she, Marls?” she called out.

Kara’s stomach clenched when Alex called her _auntie_. She’d been ridiculously excited at the thought of being an aunt when her Alex began talking about wanting children, insisting she would spoil any of her sister’s children rotten and be the coolest aunt ever. But in this world, it didn’t feel quite right. This Alex’s Kara was Marley’s other mother, not her aunt. Kara bristled a little bit, but she quickly stomped down those feelings. It wasn’t her place to feel that way. Marley had another mother, and it wasn’t her.

She turned when she heard Alex approaching, getting to her feet to take the platter of pancakes off her hands. The older woman rolled her eyes, but Kara just grinned, leaning carefully over to brush a brief kiss against Alex’s lips. It was nice to see some things didn’t change from Earth to Earth; Alex always struggled to take a compliment or to accept help, especially from her.

“It’s true,” she insisted softly. “You’ve always been amazing. And not just to me. You’re a serious catch, Alex Danvers.”

“You’re sweet,” Alex said softly, stroking Kara’s cheek before she pulled away. She stepped up to the nearest cabinet, handing Kara two plates and two sets of silverware before shooing her back to the table to set up.

After Alex had set out butter, maple syrup, chocolate syrup and whipped cream as topping choices and orange juice to drink, then taken her seat, Kara’s stomach decided to growl. Loudly. She looked over at the older woman sheepishly, and Alex grinned, nudging the platter closer to Kara. She knew just what Kara was trying to ask her without a word exchanged between them.

“Just leave me a few sausages and three pancakes,” she requested. “I’m going to rip up half of one for Marley. She likes pancakes, too.”

“Oh! Let me do that. Please?” Kara pleaded, giving her sister her patented puppy face. Alex didn’t hesitate for a moment, acquiescing with a nod. She seemed really happy Kara wanted to engage with her daughter. Kara smiled, pleased, and waited for Alex to take her food and hand over a torn half for Kara to rip into little pieces for her daughter. Marley babbled delightedly when Kara scattered the pieces across her high chair tray, and Kara’s heart soared as she gazed at the sweet baby with eyes identical to her own.

They passed their time eating with easy chatter, mostly about Alex’s work at L-Corp. She was working directly with Lena on some sort of medical innovation using various strands of alien DNA (provided by the D.E.O.) that they hoped would eventually lead to a cancer cure. It was slow and steady work, nothing like the action Alex had become used to over her years with the D.E.O., but it was a safe alternative and one that allowed her to be with Marley more often than not.

Watching Alex talk about her work, Kara felt so proud of her. She knew how much the loss of her wife had hurt Alex, how much she was still stuck in her grief in a lot of ways. It was nice to see that she’d found something to occupy herself with that she was honestly passionate about, even if it wasn’t her first choice in career. Kara wished she could thank this Earth’s Lena for that, but she knew she wouldn’t get the chance. She doubted Alex planned to go to work never mind take Kara around on visits.

Alex was mid-sentence, describing some sort of reaction she and Lena had been working to solve when her phone started ringing across the room. She hurried across the kitchen, standing up on her toes to grab her cell phone off the top of the refrigerator. Kara watched with great interest as the muscles in her shoulders, back and calves stretched with the movement. Before she really knew what she was doing, she had licked her lips.

Just in time for Alex to turn around.

“Danvers,” Alex answered the call, smirking knowingly at Kara across the room. Kara’s face turned hot and red, and she turned back to Marley, focusing on scooping up a piece of pancake on the purple-and-pink silicone baby spork and offering it to the little one. She determinedly tuned out the person on the other end of the call but couldn’t help hearing Alex’s side.

“Hey, Lena.” Kara made a zooming noise as she rocked the fork in her hand in airplane-like motions toward Marley. “Yeah, I’m not gonna make it in today. Something came up.” Marley laughed her adorable little laugh, clapping her hands and allowing Kara to deposit the pancake into her mouth. “No, Marley’s fine. I’m fine, too. Just— Hang on. Hey.”

Kara turned around while Marley sucked on her piece of pancake, realizing Alex was talking to her. She raised her eyebrows, though she suspected she knew what Alex was going to say.

“I need to take this, okay? I’ll just be down the hall in my office. Are you okay with her?” Alex seemed a little nervous. Kara wondered why. She had to have put Marley in daycare a few days a week while she was working. Lena was awesome and let people get away with just about anything, but taking a baby into a lab while testing strands of unknown alien DNA seemed unsafe. Did everyone who watched her daughter get this kind of reaction or was it specific to Kara?

Afraid to answer verbally and have Lena recognize her voice through the phone, Kara nodded reassuringly and waved Alex off. The older woman smiled back gratefully and disappeared around the corner, already speaking into the phone again. “No, Lee, I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s just an old friend from college visiting, okay? What’s going on?”

As much as Kara might like to listen in, she closed off her hearing for the time being. If Alex wanted to tell her what she and Lena were talking about, she would. If she didn’t… well, it wasn’t really Kara’s business anyway. Alex was more than capable of handling her own life without Kara’s input.

“You done eating there, baby girl?” she asked softly. Marley had turned her head away from another piece of pancake, banging her little fists on the plastic tray and wriggling in her seat. Kara shushed her and stood, crouching down to find the clips to remove the tray. Marley squalled from her seat, raising her arms, and Kara quickly unclipped her and lifted her into her arms.

“There we go, sweetie,” she murmured, flipping Marley’s bib up to clean her face before she reached behind her neck to unsnap it, dropping it on top of the to-be-cleaned tray. She kissed Marley’s little face until she was giggling again, carrying her over to the playpen Alex had set up in the living room and depositing her among her toys with a kiss to her head. She whined for a few minutes but ultimately found something to entertain her and made quiet, happy noises while Kara went about cleaning the remains of their breakfast.

By the time Alex returned, Kara had turned on the clock radio sitting on top of the microwave and was humming along with one of her favorite songs while she washed the dishes in the sink by hand. She was tempted to super speed through it — that was her usual M.O. at home — but decided to do it the human way to kill a little time. Alex was still on the phone in the office, and she briefly wondered if she was delaying a little bit on purpose. They were going to have to go see J’onn at the D.E.O. at some point today, and after Alex had asked her to stay last night, she wondered if she might try to keep her here even longer.

She felt Alex’s arms closing around her waist while she was rinsing off her plate and leaned back into her warm embrace. Cool lips ghosted across her cheek, and the barely-there kiss made her shiver and ache for more. She sighed when Alex’s hands slid up the front of her top and began gliding down over her abs in an almost reverent manner.

“You like those that much, hm?” she asked softly.

“Mmhm,” Alex hummed, lips closing over Kara’s pulse point. “Miss them. Always such a turn on.”

Kara’s mind immediately began racing with the implications of Alex’s declaration, her face flushing when one particular scenario took hold and wouldn’t leave. A surge of heat filled the pit of her stomach, and she felt herself tense a bit when Alex’s hands drifted down to her hips. Kara was having an extremely hard time remembering herself at this moment, remembering the situation she was in. She forced a breath out to calm herself down.

Alex had always been good at sensing when she was uncomfortable, and sure enough, those firm hands pulled away from her hips and the warmth of her body disappeared from Kara’s back. Kara set the dish in her hand in the dish drainer and turned around, catching Alex’s wrist in her hand before she could walk away.

“I don’t…” Kara sighed, trying to choose the right words. “I don’t want to make this harder for you.” She lifted one hand to stroke the side of her sister’s face, pushing a strand of fallen brown hair back behind her ear. “I hate that you’re so sad and I want to make it right. I want to be here for you, Alex, so badly. But… I have to go home, and you’re already going to be hurting so much…”

Alex nodded, taking a slow, steadying breath in through her nose, out through her mouth. Kara pulled her even closer, feeling her chest shudder slightly with the effort to restrain herself. Kara hated this. She hated that Alex was in so much pain and that her being here had exacerbated it as much as soothed it.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed. She felt like a complete jerk. Her body was absolutely responding to Alex, pushing her to go for it, but she couldn’t. She would be taking advantage of a grieving woman, and her morals wouldn’t allow that. She’d already let herself give in quite a lot because a part of her couldn’t seem to help it. A part of her craved this life — having Alex as her partner in such a different way, growing their family together in the form of this beautiful baby they’d _made together_. She was getting attached, and if she was falling down the rabbit hole, she was sure Alex was, too.

“No,” Alex shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have let this happen. I took advantage of you because I miss—”

“Hey,” Kara interjected softly, cupping the back of Alex’s neck in one hand. “That’s not what I meant. You didn’t take advantage of me. You could never. You did nothing _wrong_ , okay? I just think… if we push it too far, it’s going to be too difficult to say goodbye.

Alex fell silent, her eyes falling closed and her forehead coming to rest against Kara’s. Kara held her without complaint, one hand smoothing in slow circles across her back.

She felt overwhelmed with sadness at the thought of leaving this place. She’d been here less than twenty-four hours, but it felt so much like a home. Having an Alex here helped, of course. Any Earth she found an Alex in, she felt content and at home. Even Earth-1, where Alex didn’t know her and had never met her, just knowing she was there had this strange way of grounding Kara to this planet like nothing else could.

Here, though, with Alex and Marley, it was more than that. There was intimacy and domesticity and it felt so easy to slot right into place, to be there for them both. It was a fantasy the little Kryptonian girl with the huge crush on her Earthling foster sister could never have imagined would come true. And on her own Earth, it hadn’t. She doubted it ever would.

Kara reached back to gently pull Alex’s hair free of its clip, letting it fall in messy waves down her back and letting the clip clatter to the floor. She cupped her sister’s face in both hands, leaning in to place a brief, chaste kiss against her lips. She felt Alex’s hands gripping her biceps and she grinned, dropping another kiss against soft lips.

“So, what you’re saying is no sex,” Alex said, a slow smirk curling her lips, “but I can keep kissing you.”

Kara nodded, feeling hot to the tips of her ears, and carded her fingers through messy dark brown locks. “Yeah, I kinda don’t want that to stop,” she admitted shyly. “I mean, I know we shouldn’t, but—”

“Let me stop you before you get babbly,” Alex interrupted her, a teasing lilt to her voice. “I know not having sex is best for this situation. You’re not my wife, not technically, and honestly… I don’t think I could.” Kara nodded, her expression soft and sympathetic as she untangled a small knot in Alex’s hair. “But we’re both consenting to kissing. And my emotional health was always going to take a hit after sending you home. Even if I’d never kissed you, seeing you after losing her was never going to be easy. But I can handle it. I’m a big girl.”

“I know you are,” Kara said tenderly. “But you’re _Alex_. You are _everything_ to me, in every world. I don’t want to see you hurting, especially because of me. You’re already hurting because of another me… I don’t want to make that any worse.”

Alex shook her head, looking at Kara like she couldn’t quite believe she was real. It wasn’t a new expression; Kara had caught her sister looking at her like that time after time back home, and she often found herself doing the same to Alex. She had incredible family and friends in her life on her Earth, but none of them could possibly top the way she felt about Alex. She couldn’t imagine a better person in existence than Alex Danvers.

“I’ll be okay,” she assured Kara patiently. “I still have Marley, and that’s the best reason I can imagine to keep going. It’s kept me going this long even with her gone because… at least I still have a part of her.”

Kara pulled Alex into another tight hug, relaxing into the older woman’s firm embrace. It hurt her to know Alex was struggling, but she made a good point: she had Marley. She had a piece of her Kara with her in that beautiful baby girl, and Kara was glad Alex was fighting through all the pain she was feeling for her daughter. It made her feel a little better about leaving, knowing Alex had that motivation to be strong.

When they pulled away, Kara tangled her fingers in Alex’s hair again and the older woman chuckled, allowing herself to be dragged into a deeper kiss this time. Kara took her time, nipping at soft lips, letting her tongue slide into a very receptive, reciprocal mouth. Alex was a little breathless when she pulled back, her hands pressing against Kara’s chest.

“She always liked my hair long, too,” she whispered, a knowing glint in those soft brown eyes. Kara’s cheeks flushed again, her expression sheepish, but she didn’t deny Alex’s assumptions. She loved her own Alex’s short, stylish cuts, but she absolutely had a thing for women with long hair.

“You’re beautiful no matter what,” she said quietly, sincerely. This time it was Alex’s face that flushed red with pleasure.

Clearing her throat, Alex went to gather the high chair tray from where Kara had left it sitting on the kitchen table. She nudged Kara out of the way, so she propped herself up on the counter opposite the sink, content just to watch Alex as she cleaned. She glanced over into the living room to see Marley still happily entertaining herself.

“She’s a good baby,” she commented. “I haven’t heard her screaming once.”

Alex smiled and nodded, pride clear in her voice when she spoke. “She’s always been very sweet-tempered. She gets that from her mama.” Kara smiled a bit this time, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Mom always says I was a total hellion when I was little.”

“I know,” Kara said fondly. “I’ve seen the videos. Always getting up to trouble.”

Alex chuckled, reaching for a dish towel to dry the freshly cleaned tray. “I calmed down when I got older. But no one really tamed me until her.” She lifted her eyes to Kara’s. “I was so in love with her I’d have done anything she asked without question.”

Kara’s heart fluttered in her chest and she stepped close again, lovingly kissing her sister’s forehead. Alex’s damp hands gripped her forearms until Kara eased back.

“You need some sun,” Kara said softly. Alex blinked up at her, surprised. “Your highlights aren’t showing. You’ve been locked up in the lab too much.”

Alex shrugged, running a hand through her long hair. “Yeah, I guess I have. I don’t see as much sunlight as I used to working in the field. The nanny takes Marley outside more often than I do.”

“Nanny?” Kara questioned, raising her eyebrows. She supposed that was a better alternative than daycare while Marley was this little, but she was surprised Alex would trust a human to take care of her half-Kryptonian child.

“Jenny. D.E.O.-issue,” Alex assured her. “She knew what she was getting into when she started. She took a step down after an injury in the field, decided to stay with me after she recovered. She has a background in psych, and she’s really, really good with Marley.”

Kara nodded slowly, taking that in. She was a little apprehensive, but this was Alex’s decision. She was a good judge of character, and if nothing else, Kara trusted J’onn wouldn’t have allowed anyone who was any less than pure of heart to come into Alex and Marley’s lives.

“I have an idea,” Kara began. “Let’s go do something. We can take Marley to the park or something, get some sunshine. As long as you’re willing to lend me something more appropriate to wear in public. My clothes have gone mysteriously missing.”

Alex was quiet for a moment, searching Kara’s eyes before she nodded. “I guess we can go out. I’ll take Marley in the shower with me and get ready.” She smiled softly, genuinely, and captured Kara’s lips for a moment. “I put your clothes in the wash last night. They’re hanging out to dry in the laundry room.”

“Thank you,” Kara whispered, pressing her lips firmly to Alex’s. “Go get ready. I’ll get everything taken care of out here.” She nudged the brunette toward the living room, watching as she picked up her happily squealing daughter.

Alex paused on the first step, turning back to Kara. “Her stroller’s in the front closet if you don’t mind grabbing it.” Kara nodded and gave her a thumbs up before she disappeared upstairs

In the time it took Alex to shower and get both Marley and herself ready for the day, Kara had tied her hair back into a ponytail, slapped her supersuit on under the jeans and button-up Alex had washed for her, had the kitchen sparkling clean and had Marley’s stroller waiting by the front door. She was excited to go out and spend some time with her little alternate family.

Kara happily took Marley (now dressed in an adorable blue and yellow outfit) into her arms when Alex hit the bottom of the stairs. She lifted her up to blow raspberries on the little girl’s belly, making her giggle gleefully while Alex hunted down a picnic blanket and packed up a diaper bag to stow in the stroller.

“We can walk to the park if you want,” Alex suggested once she’d finished. She gestured for Kara to lower Marley into the stroller and she did as she was told. She strapped Marley securely down into the plush seat while Alex supervised, arms crossed over her chest.

“Need me to buckle you in next?” Kara teased, stepping forward and sweeping her sister into her arms bridal style. She laughed at the gasp of surprise and the way Alex shoved at her shoulders before giving in and leaning in to kiss her, grasping Kara’s face tightly in her hands.

“You suck,” she whispered, breathless but smiling like crazy. “No PDA when we get outside.”

Kara nodded, setting Alex on her feet. She could deal with that. It would be hard; this Alex was giving her the opportunity to be intimate like her Alex never had and she was so drawn in. (It didn’t help that she’d put on worn light blue jeans and a rose-colored v-neck that left her collarbones exposed and nearly had Kara licking her lips again.) But she knew how to behave in public. Alex was her sister first and foremost, so she’d just have to switch back into a sister mode.

“Oh, by the way.” Alex reached into her front pocket and offered Kara her glasses. “To complete the look.”

“Oh! Rao, thanks! I totally forgot.” Kara slid her lead frames over her ears, tension easing out of her when the noise around her and the range of her vision lessened in intensity.

Alex nodded approvingly. “Perfect,” she said, reaching for her keys while Kara opened the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Saturday, September 15th, 2018** _

Kara laid out on her back across the orange-and-white checkered picnic blanket Alex had packed in the middle of Hayes Park. The spot was spacious and well-maintained, just three blocks away from Alex’s home in National City’s suburb of Bayville. Alex had slathered herself and Marley with sunscreen when they’d arrived, then handed the baby over to play with Kara. Kara carefully held her sides while Marley stood on her belly, babbling away wordlessly and doing her best to bounce, bending her knees up and down without her feet once leaving the solidity of Kara’s stomach.

“Are you standing all by yourself, sweet girl? Huh?” Kara cooed at her, smiling widely when Marley squealed with delight. “You’re such a big, strong girl! Yes you are!”

She looked over at Alex, sitting on the corner of the blanket by Kara’s feet, her eyes closed and her face tilted up toward the sun. Already the sunlight was bringing out the natural auburn in her hair, making her even more ridiculously gorgeous. She looked at peace sitting there. Kara wondered how long it had been since she’d just enjoyed being outdoors like this.

Kara dropped her feet into Alex’s lap, and the brunette shifted her gaze, fixing Kara with an exaggerated exasperated look. She knew exactly what Kara was looking for and Kara knew it wouldn’t take long for her to give in. She was definitely spoiled — she would cop to that — but Alex was one hundred percent the reason she was spoiled. She grinned as Alex peeled off her flats and began digging her fingers into the balls of her feet with enough pressure to be actually _felt_.

Kara turned her gaze back to Marley, lifting her up like she was flying. She kept her hold gentle but steady, making zooming noises and shifting her back and forth. Marley was giggling nonstop, flapping her little arms in every direction, and Kara’s heart had never felt lighter. She couldn’t believe her other self and Alex had made this adorable little person. Just the thought of having to leave her behind, even to get back to her own Earth and her friends and family, was more difficult than she’d like.

“Look at you! Are you flying, little one? Are you Mommy’s little airplane?”

“She’s Mommy’s little superhero,” Alex responded, working her thumb along the arch of Kara’s foot. “She saves me every single day.” Kara could swear her heart melted. She liked seeing Alex like this. Soft. Happy. Free. She deserved to feel that way every day.

She tapped Alex’s thigh with the opposite foot and Alex let go, watching as Kara sat up and settled Marley into her lap. Alex shifted closer, reaching down to offer her daughter her hands, a toothy smile breaking out across her face when Marley’s little fists wrapped tightly around her index fingers. She peppered delicate kisses across her daughter’s face, starting her giggles up again, her belly quaking under Kara’s hands.

“You said she hasn’t shown any powers yet, right?” Kara asked.

Alex nodded an affirmative. “Nothing yet. We weren’t sure when she would. Clark grew up here and his powers didn’t start manifesting until he was a little older.”

“And they didn’t come all at once like mine did.” Kara stroked two fingers across the surface of Marley’s belly. “I hope that’s how it works out for Marley. And for you.”

Alex’s jaw tightened, her eyes turning sad again. “I’ve been looking into creating a power-dampening serum,” she said quietly. She kept her eyes laser focused on Marley. Kara knew it was purposeful; Alex was trying to avoid seeing her reaction, probably fearing she would be angry.

Admittedly, Kara had always hated having to hide her powers, having to work to control them while using them as little as possible and acting like they didn’t exist. She understood why she’d had to, of course; Clark and Eliza and Jeremiah had wanted to give her as normal a childhood as possible, to protect her. But it had caused a lot of issues for her. She’d felt suppressed and worthless for a long time like her potential was going to waste.

She understood why Alex was thinking of creating a serum, though. Her Kara was gone. The person who was supposed to help raise Marley and be there to help teach her to control any potential powers wasn’t going to be there. Alex had helped Kara as much as she could when they were teenagers, but she was only human and had no real idea what she was facing. Marley, as far as Kara was aware, was the first half-human, half-Kryptonian child. It was possible she would inherit all of Kara’s powers, some of them or none at all. There was just no way to be sure, and Alex was dealing with that uncertainty alone.

“Alex, look at me.” When she hesitated, Kara tipped Alex's chin up with two fingers, leveling their gazes. “I believe in you. You’re thoughtful and meticulous and compassionate, and I know you wouldn’t do something like this lightly. You have to do what’s right for your family. Okay?”

A small smile pulled at the corners of Alex’s lips. Kara smiled right back. She wasn’t here to judge or step into alternate Kara’s life (although she sort of already had — whoops). Alex was a brilliant, capable woman, and Kara felt sure she would do what was best for herself and for Marley. It was what she _did_.

They stayed that way for a moment before Alex grabbed her hand and brought it to her lips, kissing Kara’s palm. The gesture sent a shiver down Kara’s spine. All she could bring herself to do in response was gaze at Alex adoringly.

Even with her enhanced senses, she was so wrapped up in her sister that she didn’t notice the pair of older women approaching until one of them spoke.

“Sorry to interrupt—”

Simultaneously, Kara and Alex jumped. Alex shoved Kara’s hand down and turned to the older women with a wary look. Her heart was racing just as fast as Kara’s, so Kara reached out to set a comforting hand on her shoulder. She seemed to start to calm, letting the hand remain until Kara removed it herself instead of shrugging it off.

The women that approached them had to be Eliza’s age — mid to late fifties. The one who had spoken was a statuesque black woman with deep brown eyes and full lips and just a touch of gray hair around her temples. The woman beside her, whose hand she was holding, was a bit smaller, with thick dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and tanned skin. She reminded Kara of an older Maggie, a bit, and she found herself wondering if Alex had ever met Maggie on this Earth.

“We didn’t mean to startle you,” the shorter woman chuckled, her expression apologetic. “I’m Mariana, and this is my partner, Tanya. We just wanted to say you have a very beautiful family. Your little one is precious.”

Kara beamed, and Alex’s cheeks immediately turned pink, though she was clearly pleased by the compliment.

“Thank you,” Alex said. “That’s really nice. I’m Alex and this is—”

“Kara.” She extended her hand, saving Alex the trouble of fumbling by eliminating the relationship descriptor altogether. Hands were shaken all around before Kara introduced the little one in her lap. “And this is Marley.” She grinned and placed a kiss on top of Marley’s head, gently tickling her sides to elicit more giggles.

Tanya smiled at them widely. “How old is she?”

“She just hit eight months a bit over a week ago,” Alex reported, rubbing Marley’s cheek with the pad of her thumb.

“That’s a very nice age,” Mariana said, a hint of wistfulness in her voice as she gazed at Marley. “Our daughter is in her last year of college now. I miss it when she was that age.”

“Oh, God, I can’t even think about college,” Alex groaned, pulling her hair away from her neck and over one shoulder. “I can’t imagine her ever being that far away.”

“Oh, yes. Empty nest syndrome is real,” Tanya replied knowingly. “It took us a while to adjust. You worry much, _much_ more than you ever thought possible. But you still have each other. It’s wonderful in that way.”

Alex nodded without commenting, but the pain in her expression was obvious. Kara’s smile faded. Alex’s Kara wouldn’t be here when Marley went off to college, and she had to return to her Earth as soon as she could. She hated the thought of Alex being alone for all of Marley’s milestones, but she didn’t know how she could help.

Seeming to sense the change in spirits, Mariana tugged on her partner’s hand. Tanya nodded and squeezed back. It was incredibly sweet and reminded Kara of how she was with her own Alex back home, even with this Alex here, communicating seamlessly without a word. The connection between them was palpable.

“It was very nice to meet you,” she said kindly. “Good luck with your little girl.”

“Thank you,” Alex said quietly.

They exchanged goodbyes, and the older couple strolled away, leaving Kara and Alex sitting in awkward silence. Kara couldn’t remember _ever_ feeling this uncomfortable in Alex’s presence. Even at their worst in high school, she could be near Alex without this nervous prickle creeping across her neck. But now, she had no idea what she could say or do to fix this situation.

She could see it, though. Alex was raising her walls back up, closing herself off, protecting herself from a heartbreak she couldn’t handle. Kara tried not to take it personally. She was the one who just a few hours ago had been worrying that what they were doing here was going to hurt Alex. It was probably best she was distancing herself now.

Alex was the one who finally broke the silence.

“I’m gonna call J’onn. We should get you home.” She didn’t look at Kara once as she got to her feet, fished her cell phone out of Marley’s diaper bag and walked a few yards away.

Kara didn’t listen in on her conversation with J’onn. Instead, she looked down at Marley. The baby had quieted down and was sitting with her head resting against Kara’s chest. Her eyes kept fluttering closed then popping open, her lips pursed in distaste as she tried to fight against the sleepiness overcoming her. Kara smiled fondly and cradled Marley properly in her arms, rocking slowly back and forth to urge her into what was clearly a much-needed nap.

“I think it’s naptime, sweetie pie,” she whispered. Marley’s nose wrinkled and she made a disgruntled noise as if she knew exactly what Kara was saying and wasn’t happy about it. “Oh, I know, I know. You’d rather be awake and seeing the world. But, you know what? You need as much sleep as you can get. Because I need you to take good care of your mommy for me when I go home. I’m gonna worry about her all the time. And you, so much.”

Marley yawned, struggling still to keep her heavy blue eyes open. Kara brushed her thumb up and down the little girl’s cheek, shushing her soothingly. A few more minutes of soft, rhythmic rocking and Marley’s breathing slowed as she fell asleep. Kara smiled fondly down at her, taking in every little line and curve of her tiny face and committing it all to memory. She only hoped any children she had some day, with whomever her partner may be, were as beautiful as this little one.

She looked up when she heard Alex approaching again. Her expression was as impassive as she could manage and her arms were folded protectively around herself.

“J’onn said to head over to HQ,” she said, hands moving to her hips. “I called Jenny, too. She’s going to meet us back at the house and take care of Marley.”

“Okay.” Kara leaned over and pressed a feather-light kiss against Marley’s forehead, inhaling her baby sweet scent one more time while Alex inched the empty stroller closer.

Kara leaned forward to set Marley back in the reclined stroller seat. She strapped her in as quickly and quietly as she could so as not to wake her. Marley stirred in her sleep and Kara hushed her tenderly, rubbing one hand across her belly until she settled down again.

“She’ll miss you.”

Kara got to her feet and met her sister’s gaze, smiling at her sadly. She wasn’t sure what to say. She’d been here a day, and she already knew she’d be missing both of them and worrying so much.

“She has you. I know she’ll be okay as long as she has you.”

Alex bit her bottom lip and leaned down quickly to gather up the picnic blanket. Kara could hear her heart beating faster, hear the hitch in her breath as she struggled to keep from crying. She pressed a hand against the small of Alex’s back, drawing back when she felt her sister tense.

“Alex…”

Alex stashed the blanket into the stroller’s basket, taking a slow breath before turning into Kara’s arms. She didn’t cry as Kara stroked her fingers through her hair, though she could feel she was fighting it. She squeezed her a little tighter, trying to share some of her strength with the older woman. Her sister shivered against her, arms wrapping tightly around her neck.

“I’m sorry I have to go. I wish things were different,” Kara mumbled into Alex’s hair.

Alex nodded into her neck but didn’t reply.

The walk back to Alex’s house was quiet but not as uncomfortable. Kara could feel the tension radiating from her sister, but she didn’t shy away from Kara’s touch on her shoulder. It was almost like she’d stopped noticing Kara’s presence at all; her eyes were a little glassy, clouded over, a look Kara knew well meant she was lost in her own mind.

She stayed out of the way while Alex passed Marley over to Jenny at home. She searched her mind for that face, wondering if she’d seen this woman at the D.E.O. on Earth-38 but came up with nothing. She was a pretty Asian woman with a nice smile and a short haircut that made Kara think of her Alex. Kara didn’t sense anything off about her, but it was Alex’s peace of mind that reassured her. Alex had always been a harsher judge of character than Kara, and if she trusted Jenny, that was all Kara needed.

Before she knew it, she was in the passenger seat of Alex’s SUV. She propped her elbow up on the armrest and dropped her chin against her hand, staring out at the all-too-familiar National City skyline as they came closer to the city.

She wondered how this was going to go at the D.E.O. She knew J’onn would be there. What about Winn? Brainy? Vasquez? Lucy? She didn’t know who to expect or what sort of reactions she would get. It wasn’t every day your dead friend’s alternate Earth self turned up out of the blue.

And it wasn’t every day you got dumped on the wrong Earth and spent hours making out with your foster sister you’d always had an intense crush on — who was also your other self’s _wife_ which was maybe really telling.

It was an all-around strange situation. Luckily, strange situations were kind of what they did.

Alex’s hand wrapping around her forearm roused her from her thoughts, and she lifted her head to look at her sister. She found brown eyes gazing back at her, lips parted like she was about to speak, but the light turned green and she turned her attention forward. Kara turned her arm, laying it over Alex’s and threading their fingers together.

“How’s this gonna go?”

Alex squeezed her hand tightly. “Winn thinks he can trace your signature and send you back to your Earth using the transmatter portal.”

Winn. It would be nice to see him. Kara had missed him since he’d run off to the future with the Legions. She understood why he’d gone and completely supported him, and Brainy was _great_. But home still wasn’t quite the same without Winn.

“But the transmatter portal is meant for interplanetary travel, not interdimensional,” she pointed out, eyebrows furrowed. “What if it doesn’t work?”

“We’ll find another way,” Alex said with a shrug, taking a right turn at the corner. “You know we will.”

Kara nodded. She knew her friends, no matter the universe, wouldn’t let her down. They had supported her from Supergirl’s Day One, protected her in every way they could, provided the back-up she’d needed. And she knew Alex, if she’d realized she was gone too long, would be working as hard as she could to bring her home on their Earth, too.

“Cisco gave me an interdimensional extrapolator a while ago. It’s like—” She held out her unoccupied hand, curving her fingers into a small round shape while Alex glanced over. “It looks like a pin, kind of. I should have been carrying it, I guess, but I try not to take it with me. Don’t want it to get stolen or damaged, you know? But… did your Kara have one?”

Alex seemed hesitant. Kara stroked her thumb over her sister’s encouragingly, knowing thinking about her Kara wasn’t easy for her. But, although she trusted Winn to figure this out, having the extrapolator would make this whole thing smoother.

“It was stolen,” Alex admitted after a few moments. She pressed a button on the SUV’s console, taking a sharp left into the DEO’s underground parking lot. “Inside job. Agent Miller. He was passing it off to Cadmus when we caught him, but the damn thing was smashed in the fight. It was too broken to be fixed.” She sighed, shifting the car into park and turning it off before she turned to face Kara. “She refused another one. Said it was too much of a risk that something like that would happen again.”

“Oh.” Kara was surprised. Not that the other Kara’s extrapolator had met its demise — that was exactly why she didn’t carry her own with her often — but that she’d refused a new one. For her, that would mean cutting off contact with all of her friends on Earth-1, not being able to see them or talk to them or help when they needed her.

“She felt horrible about it,” Alex continued, looking down at their joined hands. “But I was pregnant with Marley, and she said she was doing what was best for our family. She said she wanted to focus on protecting our Earth, but if there was an emergency, Cisco knew where to find her.”

“That’s fair,” Kara agreed. She gave Alex’s hand a gentle squeeze. It was unfathomable to her now that she’d grown closer to her Earth-1 friends, but her other self had a wife and a baby on the way; it made sense that she wanted to stay close to home. And she could see the reasoning behind not taking another. It was a powerful device and in the hands of the wrong person (or organization), a lot of damage could be done.

Alex untangled their fingers and raised both hands across the console, cupping Kara’s face. Kara instinctively leaned into her, sinking into the feeling of Alex’s lips on her again, the jolt of energy that passed between them. She wondered if kissing her own Alex would be like this… but she banished that thought as quickly as it had come.

When they broke apart, Alex was trying to catch her breath and Kara nipped at her lips again. Alex laughed shakily, shoving at her chest to get some more air. Kara grinned as she watched her, pressing a kiss to her cheek instead of her lips this time.

Brown eyes soft, Alex gripped the collar of Kara’s shirt in her hands, tracing the fabric with her thumbs. Kara waited quietly for her to speak, hands unmoving against her back. She knew there was something Alex wanted to say. And she knew sometimes these things were hard for her, that she needed Kara to be steady while she built up her courage.

“I want you to stay.”

Kara nodded slowly, pressing her lips together. It wasn’t really a surprise. Alex had already convinced her to stay last night. She was lonely and didn’t have her own Kara by her side anymore. They had been acting like a couple even though they weren’t and shouldn’t have been. It all added up.

It just wasn’t possible. No matter how much it broke Kara’s heart to think of leaving Alex and Marley, she had to go back. She had her own universe to protect with her own Alex waiting for her to come home.

“I know you can’t.” Alex sounded defeated and looked like she was struggling to keep a straight face. “And you probably shouldn’t. I’m just… I’m having a hard time remembering who I am without her. With you here… it hasn’t been easy or perfect, but I feel more like my old self than I have since I lost her.”

A small smile touched Kara’s lips and she rested their foreheads together, listening to the anxious beat of Alex’s heart in her chest.

“So, I guess what I’m saying is thank you. For being here and indulging me and staying the night. You didn’t have to.”

“You never have to—”

“But I do,” Alex insisted, already sure of what Kara was about to say. “You could have flown away at any time and you were there for me.”

“Because you’re _everything_ , Alex,” Kara said firmly, making sure Alex’s eyes were focused on hers. “I mean that. I don’t care what version of you I find. I don’t care if we’re sisters or lovers or strangers or mortal enemies. I am always going to love you — _every you_ — more than anyone, and if I can be there when you need me, I am going to be there.”

Alex lurched forward and captured Kara’s mouth desperately with her own. Kara dug her fingers firmly into her sister’s back, holding her as close as possible over the console between them. She could feel Alex releasing every bit of her pent-up emotions inside her into the kiss, and she welcomed every bit of it wholeheartedly.

Alex was panting for air when she eased away this time, and Kara pressed a soft kiss under her ear, holding her close while she regulated her breathing. Alex smiled, eyes closed, and Kara pressed another kiss to the underside of her jaw. She was never happier for her super hearing than at that moment; she could hear Alex’s heart rate spike with every little kiss and it was thrilling.

“We should go in,” Alex said softly, her breathing mostly back to normal when she spoke. She traced the line of Kara’s jaw with one hand, staring into her eyes for another moment before drawing her hand back. “We should get you back to your Alex. I bet she’s missing you.”

Kara nodded, knowing Alex was probably right. Her Alex had taken care of her for so long and they were so connected in so many ways. If her sister wasn’t frantic yet, Kara knew it was just so she looked tough for her subordinates. Her poker face would fall eventually, but maybe Kara could get home before that happened.

“Okay,” she agreed, straightening her shirt and nodding determinedly. “Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

_**Saturday, September 15th, 2018** _

The D.E.O. looked the same here as it did on Earth-38; Kara hadn’t expected any differently. Most of the agents were still familiar with Alex. They nodded at her, addressed her as _ma’am_ or _Agent Danvers_ or _Director Danvers_. Alex always nodded in response, said quick hellos, kept her expression professional while a bit detached. Kara didn’t hold her hand or put her arm around her, but she stayed close, their arms brushing with every step. Some of the agents seemed to recognize Kara, too, nodding politely, and she’d smile back, but Alex made no introductions or comments, so she stayed silent as well.

When they entered the situation room, J’onn was standing there waiting for them. He was stoic for a few long moments, taking the sight of the two of them in with his arms crossed over his chest. Kara fidgeted, and Alex smiled at her when she caught her rubbing the back of her neck nervously. But soon enough, J’onn’s expression morphed into something softer — that fond, fatherly smile that always made warmth blossom in Kara’s chest taking over his face.

“Director Danvers. Supergirl.”

“Sir,” Alex replied.

“Spacedad,” Kara joked.

J’onn laughed heartily and stepped forward, engulfing both women in his big arms. Kara squeezed him back with most of her strength. Hugging J’onn was always nice for exactly this reason; she still had to hold back somewhat but nowhere near as much as with humans.

No sooner had J’onn released her from his hug than she was slammed into by Winn, and she laughed, wrapping him in a quick hug. It didn’t matter that this wasn’t her universe’s Winn. It was still Winn and she’d missed him.

“It’s good to see you,” he said, giving her arms a squeeze. His voice had a tiny bit of a tremble to it, but she understood and nodded.

“You too,” she said sincerely. “My Winn went to the future a few months ago. So it’s been a while for me, too.” Winn’s mouth quirked up into a half-sad smile, but she saw the familiar curious raise of his eyebrows. Maybe she would fill him in later.

Kara looked back to see J’onn engaged in conversation with Alex. She stepped toward them but was grabbed around the wrist by Winn and allowed herself to be dragged back to his desk instead. She grabbed the empty swivel chair beside him and sat down, watching him. He picked up some sort of device that looked like a smaller handheld metal detector and started using some fancy screwdriver on it.

“What is that?”

Winn turned it over in his hands, examining it critically. “Well, it doesn’t… really have a name yet,” he admitted with a sheepish shrug. “Lena and I have been working on it on and off for a while. It’s supposed to do a lot of things, y’know, _including_ picking up interdimensional signatures!”

Kara smiled at him. She’d missed his nerdy enthusiasm more than she’d realized. And she was glad to hear he was working with Lena. They were both such brilliant tech nerds; they worked well together. Her Lena was getting to know Brainy back home, too, which was an interesting partnership. Lena could deal with Brainy’s literalness better than anybody else so far.

“So, you think I’ll have a different signature than the people native to this Earth?” she clarified.

“Oh yeah!” Winn sounded very sure, and his expression was that odd mix of manic and smug that meant he was about to go on some brilliant ramble. Kara knew the look very, very well; Lena did the same thing when she was excited. It seemed the only brilliant person in her life who could speak coherently was Alex.

“So, basically, it’s like this…” And he was off. Kara nodded along as Winn went on about the difference in radiation signatures between the different Earths, but Kara was only half-listening, most of her hearing focused in on Alex’s conversation with J’onn.

They’d just finished making small talk about Marley and there was a short pause before J’onn spoke up.

“How are you holding up?” he asked, and Kara could immediately hear the concern in his voice. She was really glad he was still there for Alex. She needed that kind of fatherly guidance even _with_ Kara around. It was more important than ever now.

“Fine,” Alex said, a little tersely. “I have to be.”

There was silence for another moment, and though Kara kept her eyes focused on Winn, she could picture J’onn’s expression. Pensive, eyes narrowed, lips downturned. He knew when Alex wasn’t being honest as well as Kara did, even without reading her thoughts.

“You’ve gotten attached to her.”

Another short silence. Alex probably wasn’t making eye contact.

“It doesn’t matter. She can’t stay here. And even if she chose to or I could talk her into it, it wouldn’t be the same. She’s not my wife.”

Kara’s heart sank, but she tried her best to keep the pain and guilt off her face. It was true, after all, and Alex was well within her rights to say so. She and Earth-94’s Kara may have been the same at their core, but their lives had veered off in different directions. Kara hadn’t lived her counterpart’s life. She didn’t have the memories Alex had made with her wife and never would.

Winn was still babbling on excitedly, completely unaware she’d barely been listening, and he extended his hand to her. She took it and let him pull her back up to her feet, raising her eyebrows at him. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her forward a bit.

“Okay! Let’s test this baby out! Hold still!”

“Winn!” Alex’s voice cut in, and Kara could hear her starting to approach, her footsteps fast. “I thought that was a pr—”

Before Alex could finish what she was saying, the machine emitted a blinding flash of light and a series of high-pitched, out of rhythm beeps that made Kara clap her hands over her ears as they pierced her eardrums. Her vision whited out for a minute and she felt dizzy and off-balance. She had rarely felt like this on Earth, and she could feel panic building in her chest. But then, she felt firm hands clap against her shoulders, holding her still and upright, and the scent of Alex’s perfume filled her and calmed her.

When the beeping had stopped and her vision had cleared, Winn was standing in front of her looking mortified. He obviously hadn’t expected his fancy device to act that way, and his mouth was already open, poised to speak.

“Fucking _seriously_ , Agent Schott?” Alex snapped from behind Kara. “That  _thing_ nearly knocked her off her feet!”

“Alex—”

“It wasn’t supposed to, Alex, I swear!” Winn exclaimed, looking downright terrified. Kara couldn’t really blame him. Alex was really scary when she was angry, and she was _really_ angry, it was clear in her voice. “I mean, okay, the beeping was but not like _that,_  and I have no idea why it flashed like that. I guess I should call Lena and—”

“It’s okay!” Kara cut in. She looked over her shoulder at Alex, seeing the fear and anger on the older woman’s face. “I’m okay, I promise.” Alex sighed and leaned her forehead against Kara’s for just a moment, fingers digging into her arms, before stepping back and letting her go.

“Fine.” Alex straightened up, and they both moved to flank Winn. He had scurried back to his desk and was bent over his computer. “Did it work?”

Winn smiled at them both triumphantly although it faded ever-so-slightly when Alex glared him down; Kara hid a smile behind her hand when she saw him shiver just slightly.

“It worked,” he said, tapping his computer screen. In bold, bright red, all capital letters, there it was: **EARTH-38**. Underneath it there was a long script of coordinates that Kara couldn’t even begin to make sense of if she tried.

“And you really think you can use the transmatter portal to send her back?” Alex questioned. “Doesn’t the portal on their side have to be linked to ours, too?”

Winn tapped his fingers together, considering his answer while Alex and Kara waited impatiently. Kara had a feeling he already had an answer prepared but wanted to make them sweat a bit. She was almost impressed he was being so brave, especially knowing Alex was already aggravated.

“ _Technically_ , their portal _is_ our portal, just vibrating on their frequency, so I’d hazard a guess it’ll totally work. I might have to reconfigure the settings a little to program these coordinates in since interplanetary and interdimensional aren’t _exactly_ the same thing, but that should be a snap.” He leaned back in his chair, a wide smile splitting his face as he snapped his fingers for emphasis.

They were all quiet for a few moments. Kara looked over at Alex beside her, watching as she stood there with her arms crossed, staring at Winn while she processed everything he’d said. It didn’t take her long.

“How do we know their portal will let her through? If it has to be reprogrammed on our end, won’t it have to be reprogrammed on _their_ end?”

Kara had rarely seen Winn look dumbstruck, but it was clear by the way he froze that was exactly what he was feeling. His lips turned down and his eyebrows furrowed and he looked like he was racking his brain for an answer. He clearly hadn’t accounted for that, but Kara couldn’t blame him. He was a genius, sure, but she would never expect him to think of _everything_.

Alex, however, sighed and clapped him on the back. “Yeah, you think about that one and get back to us, buddy,” she snarked, clearly irritated. She started to walk off, and after giving Winn’s shoulder an apologetic squeeze, Kara followed behind her.

“Alex!” Alex didn’t pause for one second, marching up the stairs to her old darkened, empty lab with Kara on her heels. She took a seat on one of the stools and Kara flicked the light on before approaching her.

“Winn’s trying his best, Alex,” she said softly. “He can only control so much, you know that.”

“I know,” Alex huffed, staring down at her hands.

“Then why are you so angry?”

Alex was silent for a little while and Kara waited patiently, pulling up a stool and scooching close, their knees knocking together. Alex kept staring at her hands, but eventually took a breath, shrugging her shoulders as she answered.

“Because a part of me is _happy_ he can’t figure it out. Because that means you have to stay,” Alex admitted, a little heat behind her tone. “And even though I know you shouldn’t and you can’t and you’re not my… you’re not _her_ , I want you to stay. It’s so stupid. I should be better than that!”

Kara frowned, tilting Alex’s chin up and looking into her eyes. “You are a normal, healthy human being, Alex. You miss your wife and I’m the closest thing you’ve had to her in months. Wanting me to stay doesn’t make you stupid. I _want_ to stay with you, and if I could, I would. Does that make me stupid?”

Alex closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, shaking her head once.

“You are always so hard on yourself,” Kara murmured, framing Alex’s face with her hands. Brown eyes gazed up at her timidly and she pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of that cute nose. “You are allowed to be human. You are allowed to want and need and feel things. Now more than _ever_. You’ve lost so much.”

Alex nodded, allowing Kara’s lips to capture hers for a long few moments. She popped a couple of Kara’s buttons open, brushing her fingers over the exposed material of her suit. Kara covered Alex’s hand with one of her own, trapping it against her chest, while sliding the other down Alex’s neck and leaning in to kiss her again. She could feel Alex relaxing under her touch, smiling against her lips.

“I love you, Kara.”

Kara smiled gently at the sentiment before the full realization slammed into her: this was the first time since she’d arrived Alex had said her name. She hadn’t really thought anything of it before, but it was clear when she scanned through her most recent memories. Alex never once referred to her wife as _Kara_ , just _she_ or _her_. She’d called Kara _auntie_ earlier in the day, in reference to Marley, but not once had she said her name.

The sadness of it all burrowed into her chest. She wondered how long it had been since Alex had said her name. Maybe it was too much, too painful. Maybe referring to her as impersonally as possible and as little as possible made it easier for her to hold on and stay strong. She looked undeniably vulnerable right now, a little confused, and that was when Kara realized she’d been quiet for a while.

“I love you, too, Alex,” she assured her, pulling her in and pressing kisses to the top of her head. She felt Alex nuzzle into her neck and her fingers curling into her suit’s flexible material just over her heart. Kara knew it was an attempt to be closer, to feel that she was real and here.

They let a few minutes pass like that, Kara keeping Alex enclosed in the warmth and safety of her arms without any words passing between them. They’d done this countless times since they were young teens — Kara had spent night after night in her sister’s arms, especially when she first came to Earth. It wasn’t until they were older that Alex started allowing Kara to _provide_ comfort instead of just receiving it. She remembered how elated she’d been when Alex had first curled up against her, head on her chest, and let Kara engulf her and snuggle away her stresses.

“I’m okay,” Alex finally said, leaning back and meeting Kara’s eyes. Kara examined her critically, brushing a few stray strands of brown hair off her cheek. Alex held her hand there against her cheek just for a moment before letting go.

“You need to be nicer to Winn,” Kara chastised her. Alex let out a heaving sigh and rolled her eyes exasperatedly. Kara chuckled, squeezing her knees. “I mean it! You were a jerk!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Alex admitted. “I was frustrated, but his plan was pretty impressive. If anyone’s crafty enough to pull something like this off, it’s Winn.”

Alex leaned forward and gripped her forearms, her eyes bright. She looked happier right now than she had since Kara had arrived. It reminded Kara so much of how her Alex had looked when she’d first come out and started dating Maggie. It was astounding to think _Kara_ was the one making this Alex happy in the same way.

“Hey, Alex? Is it…” She paused a moment, organizing her thoughts before trying again. “Do you really think my Alex might have feelings for me? Romantically?”

Alex’s smile didn’t fade one bit as she reached out to wrap her arms around Kara’s back while those brown eyes gazed into her. Kara resisted the urge to shiver; she loved when Alex looked at her like this, like she saw her in a way no one else could. Alex knew her so completely, even this alternate version of her. In some ways, Kara wondered if this Alex knew her _better_.

“I don’t see how she couldn’t,” Alex replied, her voice practically dripping sweetness. “Who in their right mind wouldn’t fall in love with you?”

Without a second thought, Kara tugged Alex forward by her neck, tilting her head to capture her lips in a long, passionate kiss. She shuddered, her hands shaking when Alex groaned and pushed forward into her lap. Kara slipped an arm down around her waist, holding her steady and close as she leaned up to devour her mouth.

They were interrupted a few minutes into getting a little hotter and heavier by the rapping of knuckles against the metal doorframe. Somehow, they managed not to spring apart like teenagers whose parents had caught them making out; instead, they let the kiss slowly conclude before parting, both clinging to each other as they looked up to greet their guest. Kara was expecting to see Winn, but J’onn stood in the doorway, his hands on his hips as he surveyed them. He didn’t look _angry_ , but he didn’t look too pleased, either.

“Alex, I believe Winn could use another set of hands with the transmatter portal,” he suggested, arching an eyebrow at the older Danvers. Alex looked ready to protest before J’onn continued, “And perhaps an apology.” Alex grumbled, rolling her eyes, and Kara saw the side of J’onn’s lips quirk upwards, amused despite trying to appear stern.

“Be nice,” Kara scolded her softly, kissing the underside of her jaw. “Maybe both of your big brains can figure this out, huh? Go on.” She rubbed Alex’s back and accepted the kiss her sister dropped beside her eye before she slid off her lap and headed for the door. Alex gave J’onn a look, part curiosity, part threatening, but J’onn only nodded at her, stepping aside to let her leave the lab.

Kara waited until she heard Alex’s footsteps on the floor below them, clicking farther and farther away as she went off to find Winn. She could feel J’onn’s eyes on her, evaluating her, and she awkwardly squirmed on her stool. She could feel the disapproval wafting from him, and the guilty feeling stirred deep in her belly again.

“I never meant for this to happen,” she rushed out before he could utter a word. It was like she could sense what he was going to say and she found herself already desperate to fend off those accusations. She didn’t want J’onn to hate her.

He raised both eyebrows but didn’t comment. Kara rambled on.

“On my Earth, Alex is my sister. _Just_ my sister. But she needed me to be more here, and… it was like I couldn’t help it. I _love her_ , J’onn. I couldn’t let her hurt when I could do someth—”

“You should have,” J’onn interrupted. His voice was steady, firm but not unkind. “I can understand the draw of a relationship you’re unaccustomed to on your Earth. I know firsthand how much you mean to Alex and vice versa. Although, in a different context, I suppose.” He looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “But Alex is struggling to mourn our Kara. And giving in to her, however altruistic you meant it to be, is going to make it even more difficult for her to cope.”

Kara nodded, her eyes casting down to her hands as she wrung them together. She knew J’onn was right. She should have never given in. She should have put a stop to it in the kitchen this morning, but she felt so helplessly drawn in. She had deep feelings for Alex — she had for so many years. She’d kept them so repressed she’d convinced even herself they weren’t real anymore. But coming here, finding an Alex who had _married_ her Kara, who felt the same way Kara did, who _wanted her_ just as much, it had woken her up in a way. And it was too intoxicating to resist.

She looked up as J’onn approached, pulling Alex’s stool a more respectable distance away before taking a seat beside her. He looked genuinely concerned, not just for Alex but for _Kara_. When she looked at him, she couldn’t believe there had ever been a time she couldn’t stand him. She teased him by calling him ‘Spacedad’, but he really was like a surrogate father to her and Alex with Zor-El and Jeremiah both long gone.

“J’onn… what happened to her? Your Kara?” She searched J’onn’s eyes a little nervously. She’d been afraid to ask Alex. She was already in enough pain and Kara’s presence was tearing open a wound that had barely healed. But she still had questions, could feel the curiosity niggling at the back of her mind. If anyone would be honest with her, it was J’onn.

J’onn was surveying her again with those critical eyes. He looked almost… conflicted, like he wasn’t sure if he should tell her. She already knew it had to be bad. Just Alex’s initial reaction to her being here gave that much away.

“Please, J’onn. Who’s to say the same thing couldn’t happen to me on my Earth? I want to be prepared. For Alex, okay? If I can prevent my Alex from hurting that way, I need to know.” She knew pleading for her sister’s sake would break him down, and she couldn’t go on not knowing, pretending it didn’t matter. She had seen how broken Alex was here, and she didn’t want that happening to her Alex. They were partners, maybe not romantically, but that didn’t mean her Alex wouldn’t break the same way and she wouldn’t stand for that.

“Non,” J’onn said quietly, dark eyes locking with Kara’s.

Kara’s eyebrows shot up nearly into her hairline. “Non? But— I mean, _no_. He’s— I _blinded him_ after Myriad! The D.E.O. took him into custody! How is that— How could he have killed her?!”

J’onn sighed deeply. “We had him in custody in the desert base, that’s true here, too,” he agreed. “He, along with a few other rare alien species, were broken out during a security breach and taken by a group we later learned was Project Cadmus. They restored Non’s sight with cybernetic implants.”

Kara’s eyebrows furrowed. That was definitely _bad_. Non was not a good man and last she’d seen him, he absolutely hated her. Kara liked to think she could never hate anyone, but Non was as close to it as she’d ever gotten. He had never been good enough for Astra. He played the part of obedient soldier and loving husband for her, but his true colors had been clear to Alura (and to Kara) long before then.

“Okay, so he was working with Cadmus?” she questioned. She needed more context to work with here. She knew this couldn’t be easy for J’onn, but she had yet to hear what Non had done to her counterpart.

“Well,” J’onn continued, folding his hands on the counter in front of him, “Non came to an agreement with Lillian Luthor. She would help him take his revenge on Supergirl, and he would submit to Cadmus. We believe she was looking to make him her next Cyborg Superman.”

Kara took a breath through her nose and rubbed her temples as she tried to process all of this. J’onn was taking his sweet time telling this story, and she was trying to be patient, but everything inside her was just aching to know the truth. She had swallowed her curiosity in favor of spending time with Alex without upsetting her. And while Kara understood this was probably difficult for J’onn too, she wanted him to just get to the point.

“So, how did he kill her?” she asked bluntly. “Kryptonite?”

“A Kryptonite sword,” J’onn answered quietly. “Nearly identical to the sword Alex used against Astra.”

Kara nodded. There it was. Non had taken his revenge on her alternate self after the death of his wife. A wife that, in all honesty, Kara wasn’t sure he’d ever cared for — not as much as he wanted to control the people of Earth, at least.

“How?” she asked.

J’onn didn’t hesitate this time, seeming to have realized his slow delivery was only making Kara more anxious. “As I’m sure you know, there are more types of Kryptonite than just the green, all with varying effects on Kryptonians. Lillian Luthor was able to acquire blue Kryptonite which—”

“Makes Kryptonians human as long as they’re in contact with it, essentially.” A small smile flickered across her lips at J’onn’s mildly surprised face. “Kal’s friend Chloe told me. They’ve dealt with it in Smallville. The green can’t affect a fully mortal Kryptonian. That’s how he managed to use a Kryptonite sword.”

J’onn nodded. Kara nodded. She didn’t ask any follow-up questions right away. She could imagine the scenario hundreds of different ways. It was enough to know alternate Kara had been killed with a Kryptonite sword at her uncle’s hands.

“Alex didn’t see, did she?” she finally asked.

J’onn’s expression became solemn, almost apologetic, and she knew the answer without a verbal response. She was sure that was exactly how Non had wanted it. Alex had taken away his wife, so he had taken Kara from her. It was poetic, in an awful, sickening way.

Before either of them spoke another word, Kara heard Winn’s voice coming through J’onn’s earpiece.

_“Portal’s ready!”_

“We’re on our way,” J’onn replied gruffly. They got to their feet at the same time, J’onn leading the way to the door. Kara caught his elbow just before he crossed the threshold.

“Is he dead?” she asked, hoping for the first time she could remember that the answer was _yes_. She wanted him gone. She didn’t want him haunting Alex, a constant threat to Marley in the back of her mind. She would not leave this Earth if Non was still any kind of threat to her sister.

“Yes,” J’onn assured her. He laid a hand on her shoulder, meeting her eyes. She saw a darkness in his gaze she’d never seen before, but it struck her hard. She believed him instantly. “He will never hurt her again, Kara. I swear it.”

Kara nodded, drawing him into a fierce, tight hug. She knew he meant it. He cared for Kara and she cared for him just as much, but Alex was their collective weak spot. He was the one person in the world Kara trusted to protect the woman she loved with his life. If she couldn’t stay here and Alex’s Kara was gone, J’onn would always have Alex’s back.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

_“Guuuuuys!”_

The two of them parted with a chuckle at Winn’s impatience. J’onn squeezed her shoulder, and with a shared smile, they headed downstairs together.

When J’onn and Kara entered the room where the transmatter portal was kept, Winn stood smiling proudly on one side, a tablet in his hands. Opposite him, Alex stood with her arms crossed over her chest, her expression much more somber. Kara could see the pain in her eyes from ten feet away and her heart ached at the sight. But a small, understanding smile flicked across Alex’s lips, and Kara strode forward, enveloping the older woman in her arms.

Alex’s arms immediately wrapped around her neck, her hands digging into Kara’s shoulder blades. Kara felt the now-too-familiar shudder of Alex containing her instinct to cry against her chest which only made her squeeze her sister tighter. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay right here with Alex forever even if it wasn’t possible or fair.

“We talked to your Alex.” Kara leaned back, surprised as she took in this Alex’s sad smile. “She’s been worried about you. Said when you didn’t come home, she looked all over your apartment for your extrapolator and couldn’t find it anywhere.”

Kara blushed and shrugged one shoulder. “I hid it. I didn’t want to risk it getting into the wrong hands.” She knew Alex would understand that after what had happened to Kara-94’s.

“I get it.” Alex nodded, running her fingers down Kara’s cheeks. Kara smiled, reveling in the soft touches.

“Does that mean she reprogrammed the portal on our end?”

“I talked to Brainy, and he took care of it,” Winn chimed in. Kara turned to look at him but kept her arms wrapped around Alex’s waist. “He said there’s a 98.374 percent chance my plan will work.”

Kara smirked at the cocky expression on her friend’s face. “Well, don’t look too happy there, mister. That’s still a 1.626 percent chance of failure,” she teased him.

Winn scoffed, not deflating one bit. “ _Please._ If I can talk to the people on your Earth, I can totally send you back to it, no problem!”

“I’m going with you.”

Kara’s eyes snapped back to Alex when she spoke, concerned blue eyes meeting determined brown. Everything around them — Winn, J’onn, the portal, all the little sounds of the D.E.O. at work — faded out.

“I’m not letting you out of my sight until I know you’re home and safe. I need to be sure. Okay?”

Kara bit her bottom lip and nodded her assent. What else could she do? She knew when Alex had made up her mind. She was so stubborn, in all the best ways and the worst, and Kara knew refusing her wouldn’t do any good. She just hoped it wasn’t awkward, but it shouldn’t be, right? She’d never met any other version of herself (except Overgirl, but she was a literal Nazi). Alex — _this_ Alex — had already spoken to Kara’s Alex. It couldn’t get much weirder.

“Guys, can we have the room?” Alex asked, glancing up at Winn and J’onn for a minute. Kara vaguely heard them acquiesce, followed by the sound of the doors sliding open then shut behind them.

“Look at me,” Alex said softly. Kara did; had she ever stopped? “J’onn talked to you, didn’t he?”

Kara bit her lip, unsure what Alex meant. She didn’t want to admit J’onn had told her what had happened to Kara-94. She hadn’t asked Alex and didn’t want her getting upset. But her silence seemed to prompt her sister to clarify.

“About us kissing?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Kara admitted sheepishly. “But he was right, Lexie. I shouldn’t have—”

Alex shook her head, silencing her with a finger pressed to her lips. “I made a decision. You didn’t do anything I wasn’t wanting. You _helped_ , okay? Seeing you… Yes, it’s gonna hurt. I’ll miss you. But just having you here, remembering there are other versions of her out there doing _so much good_ , it helped. So, please, don’t beat yourself up. And don’t worry about me, Kara.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Kara murmured. “Like I know you can’t either.”

Alex smiled tenderly, leaning in close. Kara swore she was going to kiss her again, but her lips only brushed across her cheek, and Kara was hit with a wave of sadness. She had a way home and her sister was waiting for her on the other end of that portal. This was it. This was goodbye.

But did it have to be?

“Is it okay if I visit you sometimes?”

Alex was quiet for a few moments, her face clouded with the same aching sadness invading Kara’s chest. Kara traced her jawline with her index finger, waiting hopefully for an answer. She couldn’t imagine just leaving Alex behind after the time they’d spent together, after everything J’onn had told her. But if she wasn’t welcome, if it would be too difficult, she would stay away.

“If you can,” Alex finally said, giving Kara a slow nod. “But don’t make any promises. You have your own life on your Earth, you’ll be busy. I don’t want to expect you and end up disappointed.”

Kara swallowed hard and nodded solemnly. That was fair. It wasn’t the enthusiastic response she wanted, but it was completely understandable. Alex was right; with Supergirl and CatCo and everything in between, time could be constrained. She didn’t know, realistically, when she’d have time for a getaway to Earth-94.

“Let’s get Winn in here.” Alex gave her a final kiss on the cheek and stepped away, going to the door to beckon in the boys.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Saturday, September 15th, 2018** _

Kara stepped through the portal, holding her breath it would work. It was guesswork when you got down to it, no matter how certain Brainy and Winn were that it would work. She’d learned not to let her hopes soar too high in these scenarios. She held on tight to Alex’s hand and prayed to Rao this went in their favor. It couldn’t hurt to ask for a little celestial backup, right?

She had barely found her feet on the floor in what she could only hope was her Earth’s D.E.O. when she was greeted by a warm body slamming into her. Instinctively, she knew who it was and wrapped her arms around her attacker’s waist and held tight. She inhaled that familiar, _incredible_ scent deeply — sweat and lavender and mint all mixed together — and buried her face in _her_ Alex’s neck.

“You scared the hell out of me,” her sister whispered fiercely. Unbidden, tears welled in Kara’s eyes and she wrapped Alex up even tighter, feeling soft lips peppering kisses down the side of her face. Although she’d come close several times, she hadn’t cried once when she was gone. But being here with Alex, _her_ Alex, her beautiful sister, finally broke her.

“Kara,” Alex murmured, stroking her hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re home now. You’re home and we’re okay.”

“I’m so sorry,” she choked out. Her body was shaking with sobs of relief, of happiness, of _love_. She was home, and God, it felt better than she’d expected it to. Overwhelmingly _good_.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m just so glad you’re home,” Alex whispered. “I’m here. Take a deep breath, honey. It’s okay.” She was hugging Kara with all of her strength, knowing the pressure would calm her down better than anything else. Strong fingers pressed between her shoulders, tracing mindless letters and shapes, and she _laughed_ at the familiarity of it all.

When the wave of emotions had passed and she’d settled down a few minutes later, she pulled away from her Alex, remembering they weren’t alone. She lifted her glasses to wipe her face with her sleeve, smiling at Brainy and J’onn over her sister’s shoulder before turning to Alex-94, standing stoically a few steps behind her.

She placed her hand on alternate Alex’s shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze, unsure what to do. She looked between the Alexes, stifling the jolt of amusement when she saw the identical expressions on their faces: raised eyebrows, set jaw, nostrils flared. It looked like they were ready to face off.

“Take it easy, ladies, there’s enough of me to share,” she joked, trying to ease the awkward tension between the three of them. Her own Alex rolled her eyes and flicked her in the neck while Alex-94 just smiled, shaking her head. But they did seem to deflate slightly. Kara smiled widely, puffing up with pride that she had thawed some of the ice.

“Thank you,” Kara’s Alex spoke up, “for taking care of her and bringing her back to me.”

Alex-94 shrugged, running a hand through her long hair just as Kara’s Alex raised her hand to do the same. Kara hid her smirk behind her hand when they both abruptly put their hands down, looking offended they’d been displaying the same nervous habit.

“Like I could do anything else,” Alex-94 replied. “It’s my job. The best part of it.” She looked over at Kara again, her eyes dark and sad behind her attempt at an easy grin.

Kara swiftly stepped closer and took Alex-94 into her arms again. She knew this had to be hard for the older woman — it was hard for _Kara_ , no matter how happy she was to be home — so she tried her best to comfort her one more time. She kissed the side of her alternate sister’s head, and Alex-94 sagged against her for a few long moments.

Kara leaned their foreheads together. She wanted to kiss her again _so badly_ ; the effort it took to restrain the instinct was knotting her stomach. She had fallen into a rhythm with this Alex so easily that now pulling back and minding how they touched, how they spoke, it felt odd. But her Alex was _right there_ , and she didn’t know how Kara felt, and this certainly wasn’t how Kara wanted her to find out.

“I guess you’re safe,” Alex-94 said. Her voice was so tight and controlled, fighting against the emotion Kara could see she was trying to conceal.

“I’m safe, I promise. Thanks to you.” Kara gently brushed a lock of hair behind Alex-94’s ear. “Do me a favor?”

A small smile touched Alex-94’s lips. “Yeah. Anything.”

Kara met her eyes seriously, cupping her face in both hands. “Don’t hide anymore. She would want you to be happy. _I_ want you to be happy.”

After a short stretch of silence, Alex-94 nodded. “I’ll try.” She took a measured breath. “Good luck, babe.” She gently extracted herself from Kara’s grasp, her eyes falling on Kara’s Alex.

Kara could see the tension in her Alex’s posture. She was so overprotective of Kara. Kara’s friends had to work harder to win Alex’s trust and approval than to earn Kara’s. And even now, faced with literally _herself_ from another Earth, Kara could see the uncertainty and distrust in her eyes, like she thought her other self was bad news.

“Protect her,” Alex-94 said firmly, her tone bordering on sharp as she spoke to Alex-38. “Don’t let her out of your sight for a single second.”

Kara’s Alex straightened, her hands falling to her hips. Kara saw curiosity flicker across her face briefly before she schooled her expression into its professional, almost cold mask. There would be questions about that pointed remark later, and Kara was going to have to answer for it.

“Of course I’ll protect her. I always do.”

Alex-94 nodded, her jaw tight, and Kara knew she was thinking about her own Kara, convinced she’d failed her. But she said nothing more as she turned back to the portal. She gave Kara a small wave before disappearing with a soft whooshing sound. Brainy wasted no time deactivating the arch, but Kara stared into it for a little while longer, silently praying Alex-94 would be okay, that she would stop blaming herself.

She turned with a soft smile when she felt her Alex’s hand on her shoulder. The room had cleared out, leaving the two of them alone. Kara felt her heart lodge itself in her throat when her eyes met her sister’s. Alex had that look in her eye, that serious _I know you have something to tell me_ look that meant she was about to jump into interrogation mode.

Alex opened her mouth to speak and Kara reached out, slipping her index fingers into the belt loops of that fancy new armored suit to tug her closer. She smiled when she heard Alex’s heart rate pick up and her mouth snapped closed. Kara looked into her eyes, mustering up the best utterly exhausted look she could manage. It _had_ been a very long day for her.

“Can we talk about it later? I really just wanna go home with you and watch _Jane the Virgin_ and eat, like, six pizzas.”

Alex raised one eyebrow, her brown eyes skeptical. She knew Kara _way_ too well.

“Okay, five,” Kara acquiesced. “And a half,” she tacked on another moment later, smiling widely at her sister.

“Gee, thanks for leaving me half,” Alex teased, shoving her away playfully. Kara let the force move her back a step but slung her arm over Alex’s strong shoulders an instant later. Alex’s arm slid around her waist and squeezed, leading her out into the D.E.O.’s situation room.

After a quick change into her suit, Kara greeted and thanked her friends for getting her home. She made sure to give Brainy an extra long hug for fixing the portal on their end and he returned it in his typical awkward fashion, complete with a light pat on the back. While the agents milled about doing their work, she kissed Alex’s cheek and promised she’d have pizza and beer waiting for her at the loft in an hour. Alex seemed reluctant to let her go — Alex-94’s comment probably hadn’t helped that — but she promised to be careful and see her soon and was off.

She tried to keep her mind occupied with little tasks. She took a hot shower and changed into a set of clean pajamas topped with Alex’s Stanford sweatshirt. She ordered in their favorite pizza and made a pajama-clad stop down at the corner store when she realized her last six-pack had been finished off. She even speed-cleaned the mess Alex had made of her bedroom and living room (presumably while searching for her hidden extrapolator).

But no matter what she did, her mind wandered back to Earth-94.

Being with Earth-94’s Alex had opened up a side of Kara she had long ago repressed. And it wasn’t her sexuality — unlike her sister, she’d sorted out her mess of attractions in college and had low-key identified as pansexual ever since. It was her specific attraction to and feelings for Alex that she’d hidden away for years. She’d been slotted into the role of ‘sister’ so quickly that she’d forced herself to accept that was all it could be.

She and Alex had always been so much more than sisters, though. Kara knew the difference. She’d seen the way Alura and Astra had loved one another when she was small. What she had with Alex was _more_. There was no way around it.

If she went entirely by Alex-94’s convictions, there was no doubt Alex felt the same way for Kara and just hadn’t gotten up the courage to say as much. The problem was that, though both Alexes were the same person, they were also so different. Alex-94 had spent at least a decade of her life romantically entangled with her Kara. She seemed to have known early on that she was interested in women — or her Kara, at least.

Kara’s Alex was still learning so much about herself. She’d missed the chance to sort herself out earlier. She’d always been so single minded when it came to protecting and taking care of Kara that she’d neglected herself in the process. It was possible she was consciously hiding feelings for Kara, but it was just as possible she either had no romantic feelings for Kara or hadn’t yet realized them.

Confessing her feelings seemed like the right move in her heart. She loved Alex and she wanted a life like Alex-94 had lived with her Kara. She wanted that chance. But for all the risks that Supergirl took while protecting her city and the world at large, Kara Danvers was afraid. If she knew how Alex felt and would react already, the decision would be easier. But the thought of being rejected — or worse, Alex reacting with disgust — amped up anxiety she tried desperately to shove away.

_Rao. Love is so complicated._

By the time the pizza arrived, she had turned her focus on the Continue Watching category on her Netflix account and decided to play the situation by ear. If Alex showed any hint of interest, she’d go for it. If not, she would leave well enough alone and savor the relationship she _did_ have with her brave, loving big sister. She would put those feelings right back where they came from and try to go on living her life.

Less than ten minutes after the pizza delivery, her front door opened and she turned to watch Alex peeling off her shoes and jacket. She smiled widely and held out her arms eagerly. She needed her Alex cuddles, as many of them as possible.

“I’m comin’,” Alex chuckled, padding over to the couch and yelping when Kara swept her into her arms without warning. She peppered her face with playful kisses, holding her in her lap and gazing up at her adoringly.

“I really missed you,” she whispered, clutching Alex’s shirt over her heart.

“Yeah? You seemed pretty cozy with… other me.” There was a touch of bitterness in Alex’s purposely light tone, something likely only Kara would pick up on.

Kara smirked, raising an amused eyebrow. “There’s no reason to be jealous.”

“I am _not_ jealous,” Alex scoffed weakly. But Kara knew better.

“You are,” she said lowly. One hand slipped up the back of Alex’s shirt. “You’re jealous of how I was touching her, right?” The older woman’s eyes fluttered closed, a shiver passing through her at the warm touch against her skin. It was a little more brazen than Kara usually was, but she couldn’t help testing the waters.

“It’s fine,” she sighed, threading a hand into Kara’s hair and scratching gently against her scalp. Kara could have purred with pleasure; she always loved it when Alex played with her hair. Kara nearly leaned in and kissed her then and there. Before she could even make an attempt, though, Alex was disentangling herself, finding her seat on the couch, and reaching for the pizza.

“Food. Then we’ll talk.” Alex gave Kara’s knee a brief squeeze. Kara nodded, sitting back to give Alex the chance to stack her plate with some pizza while she found where they’d left off watching _Jane_.

They got through an episode and a half while they (well, mostly Kara) devoured multiple pizzas. With great restraint, she let Alex have an entire box, not even complaining or taking over when Alex sealed up half and stuck it in the refrigerator for later. Instead, when she returned, she curled into her embrace, pulling the older woman’s arms around her and settling against her chest. She felt Alex’s nose nuzzling into her hair a few minutes later and smiled to herself, content to finish out the episode in comfortable silence.

When the episode had ended and the next started up, Kara grabbed the remote to pause it, turning in Alex’s arms and snuggling in so their stomachs pressed together. Alex’s fingers carded through her hair again and she hummed happily, leaning their foreheads together and enjoying the tingling sensations. She stayed quiet a little longer, trying to think of the best way to start this conversation. They’d put it off long enough, and Kara knew Alex would want an overview of her time on Earth-94, at least.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Alex murmured. “When you didn’t come back last night—” A frown pulled at the corners of her lips and Kara couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at hers. She knew what Alex left unsaid: she’d been scared.

“I’m always gonna come home to you,” she assured her sister tenderly. “I never meant to scare you, Alex.”

Alex sighed. “I would have come for you, but _someone_ hid her extrapolator…” She gave Kara an unimpressed look.

“And I don’t regret that choice,” Kara asserted. “I don’t want it falling into the wrong hands. Do you remember when Music Meister took it?” Alex tensed, nodding. “And he was barely a threat in the end. What if someone worse took it from us?”

“Yeah, but _my hands_?” Alex met her eyes, pushing her bottom lip out in her best imitation of Kara’s pout. Kara laughed, pressing her hand against Alex’s chest over her heart.

“You _do_ have pretty incredible hands. They’ve always taken pretty good care of me.” Kara grinned affectionately.

“Yeah, yeah. Just doing my job.” Alex smirked and Kara rolled her eyes. They both knew it was more than that, but she’d let Alex have that one. “Now do you wanna tell me about this other Earth you were hiding out on?”

Kara hesitated. She’d known it would come around to this eventually. Alex wasn’t going to let her get out of this scot-free. She lifted her hands to cup Alex’s cheeks, hearing her heart picking up speed at the same time as her own started thumping faster. She steeled herself internally, taking a deep breath through her nose.

“They were married,” she said softly, leaning back to properly watch Alex’s face.

Alex frowned a bit, brows furrowed in confusion. “They who?”

“Kara and Alex. On Earth-94.” She heard Alex’s breath hitch, the confused expression turning into something more nervous. “They were married and had a baby. Marley. She’s eight months old and she’s like your mini-me, Alex.”

“Poor kid,” Alex joked, her voice strained.

“Shut up,” Kara chuckled. Alex smiled softly. “You’re beautiful and so’s Marley. She has my eyes.”

“Now that’s dangerous. I’m the only one immune to those eyes.”

Kara laughed this time, brushing one thumb along the curve of Alex’s cheek. “You wish.”

Alex rolled her eyes, but she leaned into the touch of Kara’s thumb, making no attempt to get away. That was good. Kara had been certain she’d have made an excuse to leave by now, but there was no urgency to move in her muscles. She still looked a little nervous but kept stroking Kara’s hair, seeming to enjoy the closeness. Maybe there was a chance Alex-94 was right.

“Her Kara died,” Kara continued, her tone dropping to something a little more somber. “That’s why she warned you to look after me. Her Kara was killed right in front of her, and she couldn’t stop it.”

“Why couldn’t she—”

“I didn’t get into the details. J’onn told me what happened and I didn’t want to press too hard. It was only six months ago and they’re all still trying to cope, I think.”

Alex sighed but seemed to accept that answer. Kara could tell not knowing every detail didn’t sit right with her, but she didn’t seem eager to press. Kara knew Alex never liked to think of anything bad happening to her, especially if she felt she could have stopped it. She’d saved Kara’s butt more times than she could count. She probably would have died during that first battle if it wasn’t for her insanely brave foster sister.

“I would be lost without you,” Alex finally said, breaking the silence that had fallen. “And if we were… that’s even _more_ , you know? I can just— I can imagine how broken she must feel. I mean… who am I without you?”

A shaky smile spread across Kara’s lips and her eyes welled with tears that immediately began spilling down her cheeks. “Who am _I_ without _you_ , Alexandra Danvers?”

Alex’s hands withdrew from her hair and Kara bit back a sob as the older woman’s arms immediately engulfed her and pulled her impossibly closer. She buried her face in Alex’s neck, likely soaking the warm skin with tears but Alex didn’t complain. Kara burrowed into the warmth of her body, letting go of all the fears inside that had risen and simmered just beneath the surface the _second_ Alex-94 had declared her dead.

“I’m never gonna let that happen to you,” Alex whispered, voice fierce and unwavering in Kara’s ear. “ _Never._ You understand me?”

Kara sighed shakily, knowing Alex couldn’t make that promise. She would try — Alex Danvers was _the_ bravest person Kara knew without question — but there was no way she could know what would come. Kara would bet Alex-94 had said the same to her Kara, but there were some things even Alex couldn’t stop. And Kara would die a thousand times over to keep her safe.

Leaning back, she wiped the tears off her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt before meeting her sister’s eyes — so full of fear and worry and impossible tenderness. Her heart seized in her chest at the sight, and she couldn’t bring herself to hold back anymore.

“I’m in love with you, Alex. I wanna be with you,” she confessed desperately. Alex’s eyes softened and she opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Kara rushed on. “And before you try to say it’s just because of what I saw on the other Earth, it’s not. I’ve loved you since the minute I met you. I was just— I was scared,” she admitted.

“Of me?” Alex asked, sounding hurt and looking stricken at the thought.

“NO! No, no! Never of you,” Kara rushed to reassure her, eyes wide and frantic. She never wanted Alex to think she was afraid of her. There was no one she loved or trusted more than this woman. “Never, Alex.”

Alex relaxed, raking her fingers down Kara’s back, drawing circles and squares and Kara thought she felt a few hearts down the middle. Kara rested their foreheads together again, nudging Alex’s nose with her own. She felt Alex’s heart beating erratically even before she heard it, a perfect echo of the acrobatic flips her own heart was performing in her chest.

“When I first got here, everyone told me you were my sister now. So, it didn’t matter how I felt about you. Clark had already left me with you guys in Midvale, and I wanted to be accepted. I wanted Jeremiah and Eliza to like me. I wanted _you_ to love me—”

“I did,” Alex cut in. “I’ve always loved you.”

Kara smiled softly. “I know. Just not like—”

“No,” Alex interjected again, a little more firmly. “Exactly like that. You ha—” She stopped herself, sighing heavily while she sought the right words to say. Kara gently cupped her neck, anxiety thrumming in her chest.

“Tell me,” Kara pleaded.

Alex sucked on her bottom lip for a good thirty seconds, staring into Kara’s eyes, before tipping her head so their lips were _almost_ touching. Kara inhaled sharply and cupped the back of her neck, not pushing but encouraging. The tightness in her neck betrayed just how tense and unsure she was.

“It’s okay. It’s just me,” Kara soothed her, tenderly stroking the nape of her neck. “I love you so much, Alex.”

Alex nodded, her body slowly relaxing again. “ _Iloveyoutoo_ ,” she whispered, letting it all out in one breath before she brought their lips together in a searing kiss.

Somehow this kiss felt so different and yet still similar to her first kiss with Alex-94 last night. She still felt that spark in her mouth, that sizzling heat that only Alex seemed to rouse in her. But the kiss itself didn’t feel the same. Alex-94 had been kissing her wife for _years_ and projected all that feeling right onto Kara. She kissed firmly and longingly, sure of herself, sure she knew how to kiss Kara specifically.

Kara’s Alex was softer, tentative, exploratory and a little anxious. It was the first time they’d ever kissed like this, and Kara knew it wouldn’t be the last. She felt oddly _weak_ in a way she physiologically _couldn’t be_ on this planet. And when Alex grew more confident, tilting her head and winding her fingers into Kara’s hair again, prodding Kara’s lips apart with her tongue, she wondered if it was possible for Alex’s mouth to cause her to solar flare. Her body _ached_ with desire and she felt emotionally _high_.

Their lips didn’t part until Alex absolutely _had_ to breathe. And by that time, she was panting as if she’d just sped through a 10K run but laughing, too, in this dazed, awestruck way that made Kara fall even more in love with her. All the anxiety had melted out of her body, and despite being out of breath, she looked so happy. Kara grinned at the sight, encircling Alex protectively in her arms and nuzzling into her neck.

“You take my breath away, alien girl,” Alex breathed, lacing her fingers together behind Kara’s neck. Kara grinned against her neck, nipping at a soft patch of skin beneath her pulse point, reveling in the soft hum of pleasure that filled her ears.

When Alex’s hand cupped her chin, she allowed her head to be lifted and their lips to meld together again. She kept it brief, giving Alex another minute to steady her breathing. She liked seeing her sister flushed and out of breath like this. She’d never consciously acknowledged it before, but she realized this was part of why she loved sparring with her, getting all hot and worked up together in the D.E.O. training room with the Kryptonite emitters on. She was gorgeous, even more so with her lips so kiss swollen.

“You’re _really_ good at that,” Alex murmured, inhaling deeply through her nose one last time before her breathing fully evened out.

“Kryptonian lung capacity,” Kara quipped, nudging her sister’s nose with her own. “ _And_ you’re kind of irresistible.” She grinned and captured Alex’s lips again. Alex laughed against her mouth before giving in again, her body slotting against Kara’s in that same perfect way it always had.

By the time Kara pulled away to let Alex breathe again, she had Alex on her back beneath her on the couch. She propped herself up on her palms, braced on either side of Alex’s torso, and let her eyes roam over every inch of that perfect body.

Alex reached up and wrapped her fingers in Kara’s sweatshirt. She stroked the material but didn’t pull, gazing up at Kara with brown eyes darkened in a way Kara had never seen from her before. It made her feel hot from the inside out, made her skin tingle and desire pool in her belly.

Kara grinned, stroking Alex’s sides and leaning down to kiss her again. She could feel Alex sigh contentedly under her, her hands shifting to Kara’s back and holding tight as if she was afraid to let go. Kara indulged her, making sure her entire body covered Alex’s protectively. She propped herself up on one elbow and looked down into brown eyes.

Alex flushed under the intensity of her gaze. “I know it was only an extra day, but… God, I was so worried,” she quietly confessed. “I was afraid that we wouldn’t be able to find you, that you weren’t coming home.”

“You are the best reason in the world — in the _whole multiverse_ — to come home,” Kara said softly, sincerely, without a second’s hesitation. “I couldn’t live without you.”

“Sweet talker,” Alex chuckled. Kara could tell by the pink of her cheeks, though, that she was happy. Kara _made her_ happy. 

“It’s true,” she insisted. Alex gave her a soft look and such a loving smile, an expression that said _I know_ without the words spoken aloud. “I never could have stayed there. Their Alex… she was you, but she wasn’t. Not totally. And my place is here with you. I _want_ to be here with you.”

She thought about her time on Earth-94, about Alex and Marley and a world where they’d been together and she’d been stolen from her family. She had wanted to stay. A piece of her still felt connected to that Earth, pulled to her alternate family with no Kara of their own. But she meant what she said — she’d never have been able to stay there permanently. In the back of her mind, she’d known that the whole time, but it had become crystal clear the second she’d stepped out of that portal and into Alex’s — _her Alex’s_ — waiting arms.

“Hey. C’mere, Supergirl.” Alex got Kara’s attention again and put pressure on her back until she bent to her will, their lips brushing together. “I love you.”

Kara smiled, her heart fluttering wildly in her chest. “I love you, too, Director Danvers,” she whispered, sealing her lips to Alex’s in a slow, deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end, everyone! I hope it lives up to everyone's hopes and expectations. I'm pretty satisfied with it.
> 
> This was my longest fanfiction venture in a very, very long time, and I loved every second of it. I hope you all did, too. I want to thank everyone who left comments or kudos - it means so much! But, being a shy commenter myself, I am also so appreciative of anyone who took the time just to read. :)
> 
> I will be starting up an Earth-94 verse in the near future. No promises on when, but it's definitely happening. I hope you guys will give it a read when it pops up!
> 
> I've also broken down and gotten a new [tumblr](http://costia-gray.tumblr.com) if anyone ever feels like chatting! It's been years since I was a consistent user, so forgive me if I take a little while to shake off the dust.


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